So - which ass-kicking boots do I buy?

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Beach Bag Bargain

I already told you how much I love day at the park while everybody else is at work. Well, you know what's even better than that? No? Well, allow me tell you. A day at the beach while everyone else is at work (and, let's be honest, in day camp). This week I got to go with two of my close friends, and while everyone else I know was creating spreadsheets analyzing sales and projecting revenue, we were parking our asses on the sand, and in my case, getting burned to a crisp.

Now the one downside of a trip to the beach (aside from the chronic pain I suffer from the sunburn mentioned above) is that you bring the beach home with you. I don't mean the relaxed feeling of the beach, or the scent of the ocean, but the beach itself. It's pretty much two weeks of the Dustbuster going 24/7 until I can walk around barefoot in my own home. What could prevent this tragic occurrence, which, let's be honest here, is no doubt contributing to beach erosion? A nice, new loosely woven bag that lets you sift the sand out at the beach. Or, if you forgot to, and no one is looking, in the lobby of your building. And this one's only $7!

Working Girl

I realize that I have not blogged in ages. Clearly Jayn is the better blogger and better person. (Not that I have an inferiority complex or anything.) But in my defense, Jayn obviously has way more time on her hands. I mean, she has the benefit of having two children! They can help her out with things like cooking, cleaning, and making really impressive Excel spreadsheets. Whereas I am all alone in the world. I just can't compete.

Also keeping me busy and taking up serious time when I could be blogging is my job. You'd probably never know it if you saw me walking to the subway in the mornings, but I do have a job. Thankfully, it's in a very casual workplace where no one would look twice if I showed up in jeans and flip-flops, which I frequently do (which is why you might get confused if you saw me on the way in). In fact, I have had numerous co-workers tell me that they don't even own an iron. (Some haven't told me, but I can tell. There are those who take "casual" a little too far.)

However, there are times when I need to dress up for work, so even I need to have some more formal options in my closet. And I have long been searching for the perfect pair of pointy-toed slingbacks to wear on the days that call for a little bit of professionalism. At last, I have found them.

Seriously, you can wear these to work with anything -- a suit, a dress, even my uniform of jeans (though you might have to pry the flip-flops of my cold, dead feet first). They're leather, and they come in shades of black ranging from matte to patent, depending on how trendy you are. And they're on sale for $30! It's enough to make me want to buy a suit.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Dana, Caldor, Evan Picone - Where Are You Now?

I am so sure that Dana Kahan had this exact outfit in 7th grade. You read that right, not Donna Karan, Dana Kahan. In my class of five girls Dana, not unlike Rachel Zoe, was a self-appointed arbiter of taste. And, like Rachel (and Donna), she was Jewish (see how I did it again?). Dana had the most awesome outfit ever for her Bat Mitzvah. Or at least she thought so, and she was so convincing, that we, her classmates, really had no choice but to agree. She wore a gray suit, a pink oxford, and a grey, pink and yellow argyle vest with coordinating tie, all of which she got in Manhattan at Bloomingdale's. OK, and gray suede shoes and grey Evan Picone stockings. Ribbed. Ask me what I wore. I have no idea.

Anyway, I just know she also had this dress in junior high. And I am so happy to have it back. Love it! And it's $22.99! I don't know who the Gap is kidding when it talks about its "European Collection" (I can wear it when I eat a chocolate croissant?) or refers to their European sizing conventions, but if it means the dress is under $23, c'est la vie. Or joie de vive. Chocolate croissant.

Danaa also had a pair of shoes very much like the ones featured here. They had a big giant wooden heels, like this pair, only Dana's shoes featured a wooden wedge with a carved out triangular hole. I am fairly certain they came from Caldor's. Ah, Caldor's we miss you so. Like Target, only, you know, without the tasteful design. Remember its so awesome logo? Does anything convey the beauty and joy that is a rainbow as well as 3 arcs in pretty much the same dirty color? Alas, no. Even the Target logo that entrances me with its pure red hypnotic bull's eye, just cannot compare.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Black on Black

So here's the necklace I'm planning to get for the happy couple's engagement party. I'll be wearing that lovely black dress below, and what goes better with a simple black dress, then a nice pop of black. I know - black paired with black, who would have thought of something so creative? Well, don't blame yourself if you couldn't think of this inventive combination . After all, if you live somewhere other than New York, you might believe the magazines and newspapers that claim, at the start of each new season, that this is the season of turquoise, yellow, purple, or even simply of color. We in New York don't fall for that nonsense. Of course, the writers and publishers behind those statements are all located here, and don't they feel superior when we all trot out in the rainbow-hued wardrobes they urged on us? Well, we'll show them - we'll go black and we'll never go back.

Dress Up

Is it just me, or do you also start planning what you are going to wear to an event before you have finished reading the invitation? "We cordially invite you to celebrate the engagement of - - " and you are off, either to a store, a catalog or a website, maybe even your own closet, in search of the perfect dress, outfit, culottes (I wouldn't write it if I hadn't seen them on the mother of the bride). I do recommend at least skipping to the bottom of the invite to check for some version of the phrase "black tie attire requested" before hitting the store /catalog /internet /closet. If you are really good at delaying gratification, you might even read the middle of the invite to see whose event it is your festive attire will ostensibly be helping to celebrate. But you can go back and do that later, really.

So here is what I have chosen for someone's upcoming engagement party. I do love Antrhoplogie, but I can so very rarely afford their stuff and so I spend more time with their younger, less-heeled sister, Urban Outfitters. But when you need a dress for an event, sometimes you do need to kick it up a notch. This one is only $60. I plan to pair it with some jet beads and retro funky shoes. What's-her-name and her fiance will be so pleased!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fringe Element

According to, there are three big trends now. Not one is back fat, sorry Janeane Garofalo. But one is fringed moccasins, and I am ahead of the curve, having bought two pair of fringed Minnetonka booties last year. Really I was so dying for these insane boots, but could not find them until spring, when a young woman's fancy turns toward gladiator sandals. And now, here are those same boots, endorsed by no less of a 'style arbiter' than Rachel Zoe(you can hear the sarcasm, right? if not, read it again, drawing out the phrase slowly while rolling your eyes) , whose real name I am practically under Jewish contract to reveal, is Rachel Zoe Rosenzweig.

Now I have mixed feelings about her endorsement, and those feelings are diametrically opposed. I am both pleased and horrified. I imagine that is how Ms. Zoe feels when she looks in the mirror. Anyway, there is a payoff for waiting to get those boots, and that is that I will no longer risk death when I wear them. The two pair of Minnetonkas I got last year have smooth soles that convert the shoes into mini-luges. This year's shoes have bumps to provide traction. So, when Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Jennifer Garner, Salma Hayek, Kate Hudson, Demi Moore, Liv Tyler, Debra Messing, or Anne Hathaway slide and fall, they won't be able to blame their mocs. I am defending the shoe.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Learning to Read

I found these great sandals on line at Urban Outfitters. And in a fit of compulsiveness this weekend, I decided that I needed, just had to, go and visit them in the store. You know, say a quick hello, see if they are as good looking in person as they are in their online profile. If things go well, maybe take them home to meet my other shoes, see how they get along with my shorts. My compulsiveness apparently blinded me from reading the phrases "ONLINE ONLY!" and "web exclusive" (yes, it says it twice and I missed it both times. I am like an idiot savant without the savant part). So I got down there, and these cuties were nowhere to be found.

I did, however, find the subway blouse - now $10 and in an awesome, interesting shade of orchid. I am proving my thesis today - - that this is the shirt to wear when it is 114 degrees on the subway platform and the last thing you want to do is put on your nice clean, fresh from the dry cleaner work clothes. I mean, really, you might as well take your clothes out of their dry cleaner bags, put them on, take your subway ride, get out, and deposit the clothes straightaway at the nearest dry cleaner. Someone should investigate whether dry cleaners are behind global warming. Regardless, the shirt is performing admirably. And, as I suggested, I am wearing it over a nice cotton cami, 2 for $20 at the same store. Hey, I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk - in 114 degrees, mind you - just for you.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Like Hotcakes

You know who sends me the most email? Not my mother, not my boss, not my cousin Amanda forwarding her company's frequent reminders to visit the, no lie, bar they operate right there in her workplace ("keg tapped at 5!"). Instead, I hear most often from my good friends at J. Crew, of course! What feels like several dozen times a day they email my various email accounts simultaneously. And pretty nearly every time I hum a line by Sheryl Crow, "looks like she's found a new religion/ studying the kabbalah in her J. Crew." And when I click through the email I usually see that the$80 flip-flops have been reduced to $69.99 and turn away in disgust.

But today I did see some things, including this shirt, that are quite reasonably priced. Cheap even. I know, it's another shirt. But shirts are so easy to buy - you hardly need to try them on. And they rarely make your ass look big. And, aren't they just so much more fun to look at on here than a plain pair of walking shorts ("Notice the cute fly front. Pay close attention to the the waist band with fully functioning belt loops.")? At $9.99, from $42, this shirt is literally being purchased right before my eyes and there was not a good variety of colors (white) in medium by the time I went to snag my picture. It did come in at least a groovy orange, two shades of pink, gray and white - but that was all of a couple of minutes ago. But a good wrap shirt is like a good friend; it is forgiving. So you are really a medium but they only have large in the color of your choice, tie it a little tighter. So you were a large when you sat down to the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, but you are getting up 2 waffles, 3 pancakes, and 6 pieces of apple french toast richer, loosen it a bit. And, anyway, your nearby bricks and mortar J. Crew may have a better assortment in stock. But I wouldn't dilly dally.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Ssssssssso Ssssssweet

Sassy snake flats for $7.49. Is there anything more to say? That they are Isaac Mizrahi? That they are available in every size?

In all fairness, I should point out that by the time you leave Target you will be at least $150 poorer. You will have 20 flimsy white plastic bags, each of which will have an average of 2.1 items in it. You will not remember what it is you bought that added up to all of $150, but you will remember that when you put each item in your cart you felt the thrill that only a Target bargain can provide. And don't get me started on how shopping in the Dollar Spot can double the receipt total.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Prevent a Tragedy, Please

A ways back we alerted you to Steve and Barry's new univeral price of $8.98. Adorable top? $8.98. Basic blazer? $8.98. Elegant sundress? $8.98. Sweet shorts? $11.98. Just kidding, $8.98.

And you were grateful for this new pricing approach, we know you were. But did you demonstrate your gratitude by loading up for summer on Bitten tops and flowy dresses? Apparently not, because Steve and Barry's is filing for bankruptcy! We here take some of the blame since we have posted many deals at an assortment of other retailers, and you no doubt ran out an purchased those items instead. But we all must rally around Steve and Barry's and show our solidarity and appreciation for their luckier approach to retailing, for making chic, stylish items available at prices that leave enough money in your wallet for necessities, like cupcakes or tasti-d-lite.

Take a stand for luckier chicks everywhere and go get yourself this adorable dress (that you can surely wear into fall). It's win-win! In addition to the great dress and the change for your ten dollar bill, you will get a strong feeling of civic accomplishment.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A for Effort

I love the letter A. In college, I got straight A's. My name is made up of 50% A's. I always wear a little diamond "A" necklace (well, except for right now. It doesn't really go with the halter neckline of the dress I'm wearing). You might even call me Type-A. (Though, sadly, my blood type is actually AB.)

In keeping with my passion for the letter, I also love A-line. Really, that silhouette is just magic. In an A-line dress, I am sooo much skinnier than I would be in something like jeans. For example, if clothing sizes were ages, an A-line dress that would still be considered a toddler miraculously fits over an ass that would be old enough to drive. Or buy alcoholic beverages. Or retire.

And of course, the only thing better than an A-line dress is an A-line dress on sale. And I got this cute one (in blue, with removable straps!) marked down to $35 at Esprit last week. The only bad thing is that it's still the original price on their web site, so if you want to save, you'll have to actually get up off your butt and go to the store. But on the bright side, all that exercise could help bring it down to voting age.

Monday, July 7, 2008

That Seventies Room

When I was a kid, my two cousins in Brooklyn had the grooviest bedroom ever. And this was before Brooklyn was the groovy borough. The room was green and yellow. I don’t mean it had avocado and gold accents or flourishes. I mean the room was green and yellow incarnate. The walls were covered in a viney floral green and yellow wallpaper. The floor was stained green, the woodwork was green. One of my cousins, Amanda’s mother in fact, created an awesome green and yellow lamp from a pair of flowerpots, which sat on the inevitably green bureau. The ottoman in front of the world’s most awesome green vanity was upholstered in green vinyl (it doesn’t hurt that my uncle manufactures furniture). There was a pair identical green desks and green beds, with bedspreads that matched the groovy wallpaper. In short this was my idea of paradise here on earth, and when it was my turn to decorate my room, I tried to create an updated version this groovitude, but failed miserably, covering my walls and woodwork in a surgical scrubs green. And, really, who wants to wake up in the morning and mistake their bedroom for an OR?

So, naturally when I saw this shirt, I thought instantly of that gold and green seventies wonderland. This shirt really brings it all back, but with two beautiful shades of blue to update it. Now, I wasn’t that interested in the shirt at its initial price of $48. In fact, I was downright uninterested (not disinterested). At $18 though, I will have to buy it to relive that room’s glory days. Lucky is having a 50% off then another 25% off, which is a great workout for your elementary school math skills (hint… it’s not 75% off), so while you’re in there, look around and pick out some more groovy items.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Lofty Goals

I used to work across the street from an Ann Taylor Loft. Maybe I should rephrase that as "I used to live in an Ann Taylor Loft and had a short commute to my office across the street." I mean, they asked after me if I hadn't been in recently. Recently that week. Ironically, I don't especially love their stuff, on the whole. It has a bit of a matronly feel to it, a little stodgy, a bit Simsbury. But I worked as part of a virtual team and saw no one all day and had nothing else to do for lunch, and the prices were good, and ...

And so I like to think I refined my shopping skills. Finding a funky piece at a good price in a store like that is a real challenge. And the luckier chicks are all about challenges. And yummy snacks. I have a great corduroy East Parking Lot coat from there - and you'd never know it. So they have a sale on now and there are all kinds of cute bargains to find:

Check out this halter. While there is a pattern to it, it is conspicuously lacking in color (ok, you could get it in green). $15 bucks!

And these shoes - especially in the black with the contrasting cork sole, for $20 (buy another, get it half off). Add another pair in gold or silver and you've got a shirt, and two pair of shoes for $45! Round it up to an even $50 by buying some yummy snacks.