So - which ass-kicking boots do I buy?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hat's It!

One of Jayn's and my favorite things about New York City is how impossible it is to faze people in this city. In another city, a giant face tattoo might garner some stares or funny looks. Here, it just serves as landmark, telling you you've entered the East Village. In another city, people might be unnerved by the fact that they are sharing a subway car with a man in a panda suit. Here, he's just another body to push past as you board.

But today, my friends, I have discovered something that will shock even the most freak-accustomed New Yorker. What is it, you ask? What could possibly draw the curious stares of this jaded populace? The answer, dear readers, is a girl in an awesome hat.I had donned this fetching little cloche, which I picked up for a mere $15 at a Florida Target, to brave the chill in the air on my way to work. As I waited at the bus stop, sat quietly on the cross-town ride, boarded the elevator in my office building, I felt all eyes upon me. I could feel the curious stares, hear their unasked questions -- "What is that? Who would wear such a thing?"

In retrospect, their shock and awe was really not that surprising. After all, we don't have a Target in Manhattan.

Wrap It Up, I'll Take It

I still don't believe that a warm-blooded human should ever wear a scarf in the heat, whether that be the white hot lights on the American Idol stage or the oven that is the NYC subway in the summer, but I am now willing to acknowledge the value of the flimsy scarf. I'm sure it has a real name, but I don't know what it it is and I don't care what it is, and I think the term flimsy scarf makes my point quite clearly. I mean those wide, fringed, usually rayon or cotton, flimsy scarves.

The flimsy scarf is perfect for that weather we in my family call 'in-betveen,' when a light jacket is just not quite enough. It's also the perfect accessory for the purely hypothetical office that is freezing in summer and freezinger in winter. One where many of the vents are taped over with duct tape or jammed with deli napkins, and you could swear that over by the copier there is a hint of snow in the air.

Here's a cute $12.50 one from Old Navy. Notice that because it is multiple colorful patterns on a single item, I can still wear it despite both my pattern and color phobias. I think that somehow a colorful multi-patterned item paradoxically works to soothe my phobias in much the same way that ritalin calms those with ADHD, despite its being a stimulant. Also it's possible I have had too much diet coke today.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Boot weather is officially here! For fun, and to give friends and family yet another reason to question my sanity, I created a photo boot diary, featuring pics of me wearing an embarrassingly large number of unique pairs of boots over the span of a week.

Now that all questions about my mental state have been settled... what suits a boot better than a little pencil skirt? Take a look at this great cord skirt with piping and a belt! Also, reminisce with me about the olde days, when a plastic belt was not referred to as 'vegan.'

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sit Back, Enjoy the Shoe

Recently I went to see Bruce Springsteen at the Meadowlands and I learned an important lesson in security. If a concertgoer brings a backpack (offense 1) with a laptop (offense 2), she is a security risk and must be barred from entry. However, if she gets herself some free Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band plastic bags from the souvenir-y stand, and places her backpack, laptop, ballet flats and other items inside those bags, she is warmly welcomed into the stadium.

When I returned home from the show, I was not unhappy to see that one of those ballet flats had been left behind in the stadium parking lot. They were several years old and they pinched my heels. So, look at these awesome replacements I found - $29, and with this season's studs! (Check out the awesome, not-in-my-size gray.) I am steadfastly avoiding investigating the black ballet flat I may or may not have glimpsed under my umbrella stand.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Frozen Yogurt Attire

You know what's fun? To have the time to take a nice yoga class, and just perhaps to fall asleep at the end when you're just lying there and the lights are off. (Not so much fun when you wake yourself up with a loud snore, but that has never happened to me.) But let's say you lead the hectic, modern life. It might be hard for you to fit yoga in. But it might be fun to just wear the pants you would wear to yoga, without going anywhere near a yoga studio, for $15. You could even turn the lights down and lie on the couch in your yoga pants, possibly with a pint of Ben and Jerry's with some suitably yoga-inspired flavor name. They must have one.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Shut It Down (please help me!)

Ever wonder what would happen if you watched every episode of the Rachel Zoe project (at least) once? I mean, apart from endlessly pondering the question of how a woman who is so uber-skinny can have such a round, puffy face. (And apart from marveling at how perfectly Taylor keeps her roots touched up and whether Rodger's name always had that "d" in it.)

Well, if you already had a mild 70's obsession, repeated viewings of the series would lead you to consider purchasing this faux fur vest for $38 (coupons!). I mean, it's bananas. I die.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Teal Crazy (After All These Years)

Mostly when I go for that 'pop of color' it's a hint of charcoal gray topping off an all black outfit. But periodically I have a "chicks gone wild" moment, and impulsively buy an item of color. It's doubtful that item will ever get worn, of course, so it's best if I indulge in this utter madness on the cheap, like these teal peep toes for $15.