So - which ass-kicking boots do I buy?

Monday, September 29, 2008

Not Your Grandma's House Dress

I think I know why this dress is $24.99 - a less-than-clever copy writer has included the phrase "house dress silhouette" in its description, and all interested shoppers couldn't click the back button fast enough.

My grandmother's housedress, which she spent my entire childhood in, was a red, orange and yellow striped cotton smock, with snaps down the front. Thoughtfully coordinated yellow granny panties peaked out the bottom (now that copy writer got the description correct). This dress is considerably more adorable, and there is relatively little chance of your undies hanging out the bottom - always a plus in any clothing purchase.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Tank You Veddy Much

You know what's nice about joining a gym? And before you answer, "pretending not to see other people's hair clogging the gym shower drain," let me tell you: buying gym clothes. Now, in the Manhattan neighborhood I live in, it would appear there is a uniform for women who work out, or want to appear to work out. They all wear Lulu Lemon. (All men are issued an Obama t-shirt upon crossing 60th Street.) At Lulu Lemon you can get yourself a cute top for only $70 and maybe some yoga pants for another $90. I guess that price tag explains why Lulu Lemonheads wear their gym attire 24/7. And as cute as those clothes are, and as expensive, I don't need spandex wrapped tightly around my midsection. While you might think spotting evidence of my overindulgence in cupcakes would inspire me to work out, it really only inspires me to eat more cupcakes. So - buy this tank for $10. It floats away from the cupcake area, allowing you to focus on your workout and not your midriff.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Trgt Rcks!

Once, when I went to visit my sister in Atlanta, she picked me up from the airport and drove me directly to a Target. The best part was that I didn't suggest it to her, she just knew in her heart of hearts that it was the right thing to do. So tonight I am in Dallas for work and I went out to dinner with my parents. As soon as we got in the car, to drop me back at my hotel, I asked, innocently enough, "Can you believe I didn't make you take me to Target?"

So here's what I found when we got there - these awesome Supp Low-Rse Twll Chno in Cfe Ltte pants for only $20. I love the color and the soft cotton and the front pockets. They actually remind me of the pants worn in this picture of my pal Kevin, the dirty kid on the left, who was just pushed in the mud by his brother Chuck, the somewhat larger, more self-satisfied looking child on the right. Maybe the connection isn't really there. Maybe after 11 years I still can't get enough of this photo. Not unlike my love of Target, my love for this photo is boundless.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

¿Mas Ombre? Si, Mas Ombre

(How awesome am I for including that upside down question mark?)

How hard do we work to find luckier items for you? So hard that we found you two luckier items named Ombre. That's how hard we work for you. Can't you just see this paired with tall black boots? $47 if you use the online code 8LZEMP or print this coupon below and take it to Lucky. While you're there, try to find out what gives their stores that peculiar aroma, ok? Gracias.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm Free

I finally did it! I broke free of my fears and tried something different. In the past I would have shied away from this shirt, but at last I am letting my inhibitions run wild (ok, am I the only one who is bothered by how wrong that line is in "Tonight's the Night"?). I have overcome both fear of colors and fear of patterns all at once - and with no psychopharmacological assistance. I love that word - can I say it again? Psychopharmacological.

Anyway, check out how far I've come. Note the insanely busy pattern. Right there, along the neck. Use the "view larger" button and it'll be obvious. You're not using a laptop with a small screen, right? Check out the bold use of color - note the contrast between the white embroidery floss and the even whiter gauzy cotton. Enjoy the interplay of the two textures. This top would look awesome with a wide brown woven leather belt, if you're not too afraid to add another color and texture to the mix. I know, just dip your toe, don't dive in headfirst. $15.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Red Alert

We would be remiss in our duties if we did not alert you to this exciting event:

You know we'll be there.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Lookin' Good, Mr. Kot-ter

Not nearly as well-documented, but certainly as powerful, as my love of the seventies is my love of the sitcom. So you can imagine how I love me my seventies sitoms. I regularly watch Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, Good Times. And I looove Rockford, which I know is not a sitcom, but, come on - it's Jim Rockford.

As a young child in the seventies, I was not allowed to watch certain, very popular shows. One might have thought it was because their language was crass. In fact, it was my mother who employed the crass language, labeling certain shows as "CRAP!" and therefore utterly out of bounds. First and foremost on the list of programs that would destroy my mind was "Welcome Back, Kotter," a show so "CRAP!" that I cannot bear to watch it even now, when I should be reveling in my freedom as an adult to break all the rules imposed upon me by utterly unfair parents (this rebellious attitude explains my close relationship with every sugared cereal ever created, including, but not limited to, Mr. T peanut butter cereal).

Regardless, the phrase, "lookin' good, Mr. Kotter" came to mind as soon as I saw these corduroys and I had to make them mine - as must you! OK, astute fans of the sitcom genre will recognize that quote from "Friends." (Oh my god, it is amazing there is room left in my brain to balance my checkbook. Ha ha ha, I make myself laugh with the claim that I balance my checkbook. Hee hee.)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Cardi On

So when I showed this drapey cardigan style to Amanda, she asked, "why not just wrap yourself in a blanket?" Well, clearly because a blanket might slide down your arms to the floor. Plus it might be a dead giveaway to your coworkers that you were planning just the tiniest of power naps at your desk, you know, to enable you to add more value, to help you bring more to the table. Plus with all her talk about the crazy headgear her fellow east village residents favor, any day now she is bound to spot some sort of hat that resembles a nice, downy pillow. And when she does, just watch out - - my productivity will skyrocket.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A Place for Everything

One of the things that makes NYC NYC is what you can buy there and where you buy it. Need a floral arrangement shaped like a native American headpiece? Head on over to the flower district. Need trimming for a Sacajawea costume? Next stop, the trimming district. Broke the foot on your sewing machine applying said native American-type trimming? Sashay on over to the sewing machine parts district. (It does does so exist!)

Truthfully much of NYC has undergone a mall-ification and there are fewer and fewer specialty districts and more and more - - well, banks, but also - - Claire's Accessories. But this past weekend when I headed down to Orchard Street I was thrilled to find the old leather jacket district I remembered. Stores up and down the street are crammed with literally thousands and thousands of every style of leather jacket and coat you could ever want, and of course many you would not want. No ambiance. No brand names. But every jacket was $90! So much luckier than buying some brand at some department store for four times that price. And the salesperson even knew exactly what I was talking about ("You mean you want a jacket like Shaft wore?"). It was so hard to choose, but in the end I bought this glazed leather jacket. And when the weather actually cools enough to warrant a jacket, I am planning to go back for a $90, fully lined, leather coat, ala Shaft. Because I am a bad mother. Just ask my kids.