Only a Hobo...

... and only $20. (Plus, it gave me the opportunity to reference vintage Rod Stewart.)
The bag comes in blue and beige, but obviously black is the way to go. I mean, blue? What am I? A clown?
And now Amanda is now thinking, "If you only were - then you could entertain at bat mitzvahs."

Go to Waist

I just like this. I do. It's a nice suede belt with smart detailing around the buckle, only $20, and doesn't it do a lovely job of reminding us that there is a waist under that cozy, but bulkifying, vest? Of course, I would like to be reminded just a little less that there is a bosom under that cozy, but bulkifying, vest.

Shake your boot-y

Now that Jayn has solved the problem of what to tuck into your boots, I'm sure you are all breathing a sigh of relief and rushing to expand your footwear collection. So your next question will surely be, "But which boots should I buy?"

The answer is simple: these! Cute suede boots for $50 -- what more could you want? Well, a pair in all five colors, obviously.

(Oooh) Growing Up

I recently realized that a friend of mine goes everywhere dressed as if she is attending a bar mitzvah (or bat mitzvah, to be fair). I myself arrive at the same event looking as if I have come to clean your garage, and possibly your gutters, time permitting. OK, I exaggerate slightly (at least about my style), but I am a casual chick, in love with my jeans and cords.

I resent any event that demands a skirt, possibly out of a childish "you're not the boss of me" attitude, but more likely due to a skirt dress code imposed on me throughout my formative years. Today I was supposed to attend an event in a skirt, but I found a way to weasel out of going altogether. Had I had this $37.50(from $128!) suede skirt though, I feel certain I would have behaved like the adult I ostensibly am, put it on, and actually shown up, if not grown up.

Friendly Fire

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to spread the gospel of what is both cute and affordable, our advice goes unheeded. Our warnings are ignored. Our good intentions go to waste. And, dear readers, we are here to tell you, you are only hurting yourselves.

Take, for example, my dear friend Hillary. Normally a chick of exceptional taste (not to mention sparkling wit and gracious hospitality), she ignored our stand on the bootee and went out and bought one anyway. Even worse -- she bought two! One for each foot! Didn't she read the part where we said we would hate her as a result??

So I suppose now I am forced to stand by my principles and hate her. But that makes me sad. Maybe I could try to look at things from Hillary's point of view. You know, walk a mile in her shoes. Except -- then I would have to wear bootees! And walk a mile!

But . . . isn't friendship [just barely] more important than footwear? If the Luckier Chicks can teach you only one thing, let it be that crucial tenet. So clearly my only option is to overlook this little oversight -- whilst wearing my own shoes. Probably these.

Booteelicious

On behalf of Jayn and myself, I would like to publicly announce that Luckier is boycotting the "bootee." I know Jayn has previously mentioned how ugly it is, but it's time we really took a stand. It's heinous. Stop trying to make us wear it, fashion magazines. It is the ugliest shoe ever and makes you look stupid, and if you wear it, we will hate you. Oh, and it's spelled stupidly. So there you go. Stand taken.

If you would like to adorn your feet with a shoe that is taller than a pump but reaches below mid-calf, and not look like an asshole, stick with the ankle boot. I will admit, I never quite know what to wear them with, but that doesn't stop me from wanting this one. I'll wear it underneath bootcut jeans and no one will ever see how cute the top is, but I'll know. AND I'll know it was $39! For suede boots! And most importantly, I won't be wearing a bootee. And you can't really put a price on that.

Safety Shoes

OK - I have to admit I am nervous about buying shoes anywhere that has a "leather collection." When I was coming up my mother made it very clear that all our shoes must be made of leather, no options, case closed. So the notion that a store would brag that it sells a handful of shoes made of natural materials is a bit scary to me, although it would surely be of interest to the ruffled-sweater-wearing-vegan.

But I do think at $34.50 these are amazing. Again, like with the wedges, I like a thick heel that doesn't get trapped in the sidewalk and cause me, my purse, and my laptop to collapse in a heap. (Of course, when I wear the thick heel, I have nothing to blame the inevitable tumble on but but my utter lack of grace. Except maybe that my parents didn't give me dance lessons! Yes! It's their fault!) And the shoe reminds me very much of the opening to a show called Makin' It that aired for one season only, but whose theme song has never left my brain. Which explains why there is no room for anything new. (It is all the fault of the show! Yes! It's the show's fault!)

Buy now, wear later

Sometimes, buying shoes can be a long-term investment. But isn't it nice when you don't have to invest a lot? Take these awesome suede moccasins. Since it's already spring (really, that nice weather should be starting any day now), some rules of fashion might tell you not to wear these. But that's okay! Buy them now ($40! For suede! What are you waiting for??), put them in your closet, and have a fabulous summer. Then, come October, pull them out, and wear your awesome new shoes every single day. Totally worth the wait.