So - which ass-kicking boots do I buy?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Health Warning Unheeded

I am growing concerned that the general population has not taken the earlier warning on 'forgot to put on pants syndrome' as seriously as it warrants. Very recently I met up with some colleagues and was horrified to find that one had shown up in a cute shirt and leggings. I hope she did not notice as I stared intently at her nearly naked bottom half while moving slowly, but deliberately, across the room from her. I cannot risk catching this illness - it's cookie season, the worst possible time to catch it - and exposing my nearly naked ass to the scrutiny of the world.

Please! Inoculate yourself immediately. Pick up any of the following bargains and slip them over your legs and ass ASAP. If you have a balance in your flexible spending account, consider charging in these pants as they are a prophylactic purchase.

$14.50 cords - take with breakfast and don't take off all day.

These $32 velvet pants are prescribed for the times you would ordinarily choose 'formal leggings.' They are named "Lindsay." Hmmmm. Snark at Ann Taylor?

The cute back pockets on this pair of jeans ($44) provides you extra protection against FTPOPS .

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