Dogless in NYC

I am in the market for a used dog. This turns out to be much trickier than one would expect. In order to qualify for a dog, I must answer a barrage of questions, including what I will feed the dog, where the dog will sleep, what type of obedience class I will sign up for, and what vet will vouch for me (but I don't have a dog, so I don't have a vet, so I can't get a dog, because I don't have a vet).

So I decided I neeeeded this dognamed Hippy I discovered online . So very cute and perfect in every way, including her name. But in the time it took me to answer the above questions and get a vet to vouch for me, dogless as I am, my beloved Hippy was adopted out from under me by a family that is no doubt more sure about exactly what food it will serve (organic free range something, cooked exclusively for the pet nightly, while the kids eat Lunchables).

So instead, I will settle for this $10 hippy bracelet. The cleanup will be easier and the application process so much simpler.