You Can't Always Get What You Want

These $30 knee-high boots are calling to me. "Jayn, won't you take us in? We have never had a real home to call our own. And we just know we would love it with you With all the other boots you have already taken in, every day would be like a party!"

But, alas, I must respond, "O, beautiful, brown boots of a height I do not yet possess, I just cannot take you in. I have sworn an oath to leave space in my room for a bed."





Being so cruel to those innocent, and inexpensive, boots has left me feeling like a true bitch. Which is to say, I feel like myself. And so I very much want to welcome this $15 'Bitch is the New Black' shirt to my overcrowded middle drawer. Except the two family members in their formative years can both read, and will without a doubt shout the text on this shirt far and wide, causing Child Services to remove them from my custody. And as much as that would provide me with a well-deserved break, the whole episode would, in the end, cost me dearly child in psychologist fees. And so I leave this item behind as well.