The Five and Ten

Well, it looks like Urban Outfitters has thrown in the towel, and utterly given up on even the remotest possibility that summer is actually ever coming to NYC this year, and accordingly has marked their prices waaay down, with many items a mere $5 or $10 (OK, $4.99 or $9.99, if you must be such a stickler for accuracy. And yes, apparently I must be.). Let their loss of faith be your wardrobe gain. Especially since you just know August will be hotter 'n hell starting at precisely 12:00:00 AM on 8/1/09.

$5!

$10

$10 (leatha)

Stop the Insanity

I went to parochial school for 10 years, and I am fairly certain one of the commandments is 'Allow not false fitness claims to lead you into the world of incredibly hideous footwear.' I bring up this commandment, that was inexplicably overlooked when the top ten list was compiled, because the advent of the 'fit flop' seems to have led many astray from this incredibly obvious mandate. You know this shoe - it's a flip flop with a thick, orthopedic looking white sole and leather upper (or patent leather, or even, shudder, sequined, or even these monsters, that I am nearly 100% certain my grandfather wore while washing his beloved Oldsmobile, and while I'm all for nostalgic shopping, that is really taking it too far) and its manufacturer claims that just wearing the shoe is like working out. As if toned legs and an improved cardiovascular system were worth dressing your feet like dorks.

And yet, everywhere I look, this is what people are wearing! How do you explain this? The other day my friend was wearing them, so I asked her, "Is it true that, like the site says, you can 'get in shape without setting foot in a gym?'" And, in a moment that's had me laughing all week, she gestured to her belly and said, "What do you think?!"

Instead, I beg of you, buy these flip flops for $8 (you can by 7 pair and still save $4 over the price of one pair of fit flops). True, you won't believe you are getting a workout, but at least you'll be able to look at your feet without feeling you have betrayed them.






Or, for the love of all that is cute, choose these sandals. True, you can only get 4 pair of these for the price of the fit flops, but surely cute footwear has some inherent health benefits.

Credit Where Credit is Due

You are all completely welcome. What do you mean, "why?" Because I blogged about that raincoat and bought an umbrella. What do you mean, "so?" Why do you think it didn't rain today? Now you see. Like I said, you are completely welcome.

Now that we've had 5 non-rainy days in a row, I am sorely tempted to buy this awesome sundress for $40.

And the shoes are pretty awesome, too, if you don't already own 4 pair of gladiator sandals. And maybe even if you do. They would make a nice thank you gift to me for bringing out the sun. I wear size 8. OK, really 8.5.

Portuguese Shoe o' War

I bought these in pink a couple of weeks ago, when they were $20 and this sea foam green pair (the brand calls them "turquoise," though I disagree -- however, Jayn has become somewhat of an expert on the color turquoise, so I will leave it to her to cast the deciding vote) was $40. But now the sea foam green is on sale for $24.99! Which leaves me to wonder, do I need this pair, as well?

I'm pretty sure I do, and so do you, and here's why. While they look light and summery, they are actually quite well-suited for the never-ending monsoon that has taken residence in the skies above New York City. For one thing, they're not leather -- excuse me, they are 100% synthetic patent leather -- so you don't have to worry about them getting ruined in the rain like leather would, nor do they really get soaked like fabric does. And that cute little wedge heel lifts you up just high enough to avoid soaking your feet in the shallow puddles that are EVERYWHERE. (Save the really big puddles for your Hunters.) 

Plus they're named Lisbon, for a city which, Wikipedia tells me, has one of the mildest climates in Europe, complete with sunny and dry summers. That is certainly something worth celebrating, particularly by immortalization in shoe-form.

Sandal Me

I am really warming to this ingenious registry idea of mine. I'm just so clever. One of the best aspects of the "buy me things" registry is that you don't have to share it with anyone. No one is going to argue with you over a single choice you make because it's, say, redundant. Or, how do you say it? Unnecessary. Or, what's that word again? Frivolous. Or even because you don't have room for the shoes you already have. Throw these $40 galadiators on the registry, baby.

Where do I get one of those registry bar code scanners, so that I can keep it in my purse and whip it out at the sight of a must-have item, regardless of the store I'm in? Surely there's already an iPhone app.

If Brooklyn's So Great, Why Are You HERE?

Well, I am locked in my bedroom as a TV interview is being conducted in my living room. First the interviewer/sound guy/cameraman insulted my neighborhood. Then the man told me how great his neighborhood, South Williamsburg, is. This happened only hours after I complained (ranted) on Facebook about not being able to bear one more person's extolling the virtues of hip Brooklyn. Someone should tell this man how rude it is to a) insult your host's neighborhood, while in her living room, when perhaps nobody knows exactly where you went and therefore where to search for the body and b) to chat about the people living in your new, hip neighborhood for generations before you got there as if you are observing them in some sort of zoo. Also, learn to pronounce their sect's name - they are not 'the Satmire.'

And so, while stuck in my room, I am shopping. Are these not great? I know a certain hipster in my living room would not think so, because they are $20 and come from Old Navy. But I can quadruple their price, put them in an eco-bag with with the name of a store in some fake Brooklyn neighborhood ("Redhook Heights Vicinity" - or better yet, "DoWiSeTrePla") and watch him snap up a pair for his overly pierced ("it's art") girlfriend.

PS - the color is "Black Jack" which I misread, and preferred, as "Jack Black.

Rack 'em Up

Amanda turned me on to this awesome shoe rack that holds 36 pair. Who has 36 pair of shoes? Not me. Not yet. But, if nothing else, I am a goal-setter. I define an objective, set a deadline, develop some milestones and checkpoints along the way, ramp up my steep learning curve, and hit the ground running. What? Do you not speak consulting-ese?

Let me put it more simply. Buy these sandals for $42.50.

Golden Opportunity

You don't need any more sandals, not even a little bit. But you probably don't have any in gold, so you still might buy these at $20. So nice with a long, breezy skirt, when summer comes back for good.

Sunny Daze

Finally, finally, finally! Warm, warm, warm! I'm nearly giddy with excitment. Quick, we must show the gods our appreciation for this lovely sunshine. Do so by buying these $40 sandals - quick while the $10 coupon is still good!

I'm Too Tired to Come Up with A Title for this Entry

I once worked on a project at Nine West. It was located at - surprise - 9 West Street. I am hoping there wasn't a huge amount of cash dropped reaching that branding decision. They told me that the company names the shoes after people they know (again, I hope some brand management firm was not engaged to make that decision). They even promised to name a style after me. To the best of my knowledge they have not. But, I don't hold that against them. Much.

But I can put that grudge behind me, at least temporarily, to purchase these awesome shoes I have been watching for quite a while. They are $48, with free shipping. Let's call them "Jayn" and heal my apparently still raw wound.

Because I want to spare my cousin the pain and suffering of not having a shoesake, I am hereby naming these $32 dollar beauties "Amanda". They come in awesome colors like purple, teal, and brown patent.

Learning to Read

I found these great sandals on line at Urban Outfitters. And in a fit of compulsiveness this weekend, I decided that I needed, just had to, go and visit them in the store. You know, say a quick hello, see if they are as good looking in person as they are in their online profile. If things go well, maybe take them home to meet my other shoes, see how they get along with my shorts. My compulsiveness apparently blinded me from reading the phrases "ONLINE ONLY!" and "web exclusive" (yes, it says it twice and I missed it both times. I am like an idiot savant without the savant part). So I got down there, and these cuties were nowhere to be found.

I did, however, find the subway blouse - now $10 and in an awesome, interesting shade of orchid. I am proving my thesis today - - that this is the shirt to wear when it is 114 degrees on the subway platform and the last thing you want to do is put on your nice clean, fresh from the dry cleaner work clothes. I mean, really, you might as well take your clothes out of their dry cleaner bags, put them on, take your subway ride, get out, and deposit the clothes straightaway at the nearest dry cleaner. Someone should investigate whether dry cleaners are behind global warming. Regardless, the shirt is performing admirably. And, as I suggested, I am wearing it over a nice cotton cami, 2 for $20 at the same store. Hey, I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk - in 114 degrees, mind you - just for you.

Lofty Goals

I used to work across the street from an Ann Taylor Loft. Maybe I should rephrase that as "I used to live in an Ann Taylor Loft and had a short commute to my office across the street." I mean, they asked after me if I hadn't been in recently. Recently that week. Ironically, I don't especially love their stuff, on the whole. It has a bit of a matronly feel to it, a little stodgy, a bit Simsbury. But I worked as part of a virtual team and saw no one all day and had nothing else to do for lunch, and the prices were good, and ...


And so I like to think I refined my shopping skills. Finding a funky piece at a good price in a store like that is a real challenge. And the luckier chicks are all about challenges. And yummy snacks. I have a great corduroy East Parking Lot coat from there - and you'd never know it. So they have a sale on now and there are all kinds of cute bargains to find:

Check out this halter. While there is a pattern to it, it is conspicuously lacking in color (ok, you could get it in green). $15 bucks!

And these shoes - especially in the black with the contrasting cork sole, for $20 (buy another, get it half off). Add another pair in gold or silver and you've got a shirt, and two pair of shoes for $45! Round it up to an even $50 by buying some yummy snacks.

Sheep Meadow Sandals

One of my favorite summer time activities is hanging out in Central Park, lying on a blanket, reading a book. I guess there's nothing particularly unusual about that. But when I go it has to be a work day. Sheep Meadow is exponentially more enjoyable when I know that everyone else is at work. And these are just the lazy shoes to wear on your walk over, before you kick them off and collapse on your blanket. Acoustic guitar optional.

At $16.80, if you should happen to fall asleep 2 pages into your book, but after finishing your tabloid, and not notice when the shoes get carried off in the mouth of a frisky off-the-leash cocka-poo, it's not an unbearable loss.

Stretch those shopping muscles

I'd like to take a moment to discuss the importance of flexibility. And I don't mean in a yoga sort of way. In fact, I hate yoga. This is in part because, as I like to say, I don't like to mix spirituality with sweat, but mostly because every time I've tried a yoga class, I've gotten an instructor with a hilarious accent, who dramatically implores me to try "downvard-fazing dugggg" instead of just sitting on my mat and giggling.

No, I'm talking about a different kind of flexibility. About keeping an open mind, and not getting so caught up in preconceived ideas that you can't consider other options.

For instance, say you've spent the past few months searching for the perfect pair of gold summer sandals to replace the ones you happily wore into the ground the past two years. You've looked everywhere, going so far as to purchase a few pairs, but ultimately ended up returning them because they really weren't quite right. And then, lo and behold, after what seems like endless searching, you find that pair! And as you sit in the shoe store congratulating yourself on not settling, the saleswoman returns with dreadful news: They're out of the gold in your size. How about silver?

What do you do? Do you leave the store sadly, and vow continue on your quest, knowing it may be months again before you come across such a find? Or do you boldly reevaluate your wardrobe needs and think, The perfect silver summer sandal! What I really needed all along!

Expand your fashion horizons, dear reader. Consider other options. Is one metallic really so different from another? You can make the silver work. Think how cute it will look with all your little summer dresses. Gold is so summer of '07, anyway! (Disclaimer: I have no idea if this last part is actually true. But you can embrace it and make it true!)

And, while you're in the store, if you should unexpectedly happen to find that elusive perfect pair of oversized, rhinestone-studded-but-not-tacky, Lindsay-Lohan-with-a-hangover sunglasses, do you think, I was really only in the market for shoes today . . .? Nay, my friend! March straight to the register, sunglasses in hand. After all, you're flexible.

Et Tu, Cute

You NEED these gladiator sandals. You just do. And not despite their looking like something your sister wore when she entered (and won) the statewide Latin costume contest in high school, but possibly because that's what they look like.

And also, because they are just adorable, wicked cheap at $35.99, and Vera Wang. Be kind to me and don't make me use the 'word' 'masstige' since I have already had to use the term 'gladiator sandals'. Can't you just see these shoes walking at a brisk clip to work, on their way to Tasti-D-Lite (Pinkberry if that works better for you), looking smart with a pair of jeans? You so can. And when the trend looks outdated, just put them away for your next statewide Latin contest.

Update - turns out I really did need them. I managed to get them for $28.79, no shipping, using the promotion codes JUST4YOU & SPECIAL20.