That Seventies Bikini

In case you didn't heed me when I urged your purchase of that seventies shirt, the shirt that replicated the groovy decor of my cousins' Brooklyn bedroom, and have been beating yourself up about it every day since (with the occasional day of to celebrate a holiday or mark the new tv season), here is your chance to purchase that seventies bikini. Only $15 each piece! (Don't you hate when you see a two-piece that you like at a completely reasonable price, only to realize that that is the price for the top alone? I knew you did.)

One Piece, Two Piece, Three Piece, Four

So I had to have a two piece. I finally got myself one that I loved, and after a quick subway ride, a train ride and 1/4 mile walk we all hit the beach, more bags of stuff than people, but ok, who's counting, and we're Jewish so we had to have enough food for (n*3) people where n is the number of people actually involved in the activity. Here is my suit from the Gap ($28) - so cheap, and just perfect, especially since the top ties at the top at the neck and the bottom to get it to fit just right.

But, we get to the beach and, lo, my friend has on an adorable black one piece! So now I need that too. And can't a luckier chick have more than one bathing suit? Especially if she lives under the delusion that she will go often enough to some body of water that she actually requires at least two, because one is always wet? As delusions go, this is a pretty benign one, you must admit. And here is an awesome black one piece from Lands End for $24.99. Look at it - it is even more customizable than my little bikini. You can choose from two torso lengths as well as three bra types and four cup sizes. Maybe all of Simsbury was right to do all its shopping from Lands End? Ugh, painful images of polos, khakis, webbed blets and boat shoes (all worn by the girls, mind you, and not when preppy was the style) from my high school days come flooding back. Maybe just stick to this suit.

Suit Up!

Look at this suit, y'all (I've been reading up on Jamie Lynn's baby)! How can you not love it? First the obvious - it has an underwire, if you want you and your breasts to arrive at the beach at the same time, and not with a 3 second delay. Second, it has the boy short bottom, a shape I have been in love with since finding the most amazing Liza Bruce boy short suit at the Neiman's Last Call sale in college. Sooo, much sexier than the thong, and saves on the sunblock. But then there is the madras plaid. Do you not just live for it?

(For a (luckier) chick who doesn't do patterns or colors, I am so very completely smitten by anything madras. Even better is madras patchwork! Or a different madras on the sleeves, back and front. What is wrong with me?)

And I love this suit because to me it appeals at once to both the East Village hipster doofus and the New England prepster wasp. Of course, as neither, I could be completely off-base. You vote at right and tell me. But not before you place your order (and Amanda has been kind enough to help you with the discount, y'all). But please, let's skip those rain boots. It makes stilettos and a bathing suit seem almost reasonable. And it's $26.

Bathing Suit Season

Okay, so this company is kind of old-lady. (My grandma is a regular customer. Hi, Grandma!) But if you're looking for a simple bathing suit, they have some decent options! I mean, this is pretty cute, nice color, good cut, and the whole thing is less than $20 (right now, each piece appears to be on sale for $9.60). You could totally wear that to the beach, and I would not laugh at you or call you Shirley. Unless that was your name.