Luckier

After the Fit Flops of Summer are Gone

2010-09-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

As much as I love, love, love summer (the beach, the smell of sunblock, the heat's making the consumption of ice cream damn near a necessity), I must acknowledge that there is already a certain crispness in the air, and with the first of the 400 fall holidays already behind us, there is no denying that fall is pulling into the station. And with fall come two lovely, beautiful, wonderful things - outerwear and.... boots. That's right, boots. Boots, boots boots!

Let's say a person has a generous number of boots already, but, let's just say, she doesn't have any casual, to-the-knee, ass-kicking boots. Well, not in brown. And let's say she has assembled an assortment of coupons, rewards cards and Amex gift cards, which when combined would bring the cost of these hypothetical boots down to a mere $10, if that much. Which boots should she buy? Should she buy the lace-up, Lucky pair, that tells her fellow subway riders she is not joking about her strict enforcement of the one-ass-one-seat rule? Or should she buy the pre-distressed, lug-soled Clarks that make a similar statement, but with a hint more granola, but for sure not even a whiff of that acrid patchouli oil?

Make Your Own Lucky

2010-05-24T20:21:00.001-07:00

My Lucky abandonment is complete. I am now faced with post-traumatic store syndrome, brought on by the homogenization and boringification of my favorite retail outlet. I attend twelve step meetings and have an official, turquoise-adorned, flowy-sleeved sponsor. But between the meetings and texts to my sponsor, I find myself trawling sites and stores in search of that same feeling that Lucky used to bring me.

My latest find is this $25 blouse. I liked the adorned smockiness and the gauzy feel. For all that, though, it is a weak substitute. It is the methodone of boho blouses.

UnLucky

2010-05-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Lucky is no longer. Oh, sure, it exists, but it is no longer Lucky. Now it's some other store entirely. Some store selling basic, Gap-like tanks in a variety of bright hues, tied up with twine in cute little bundles, at two-fer prices. The store is clean and bright and has big displays with pictures of freshly scrubbed 18-year-olds wearing boring American Eagley clothes. Who wants that? Maybe freshly scrubbed 18-year olds. Who need multiple tanks.

As you can imagine, this situation has inspired quite the identity crisis in me. Where will I buy my Stevie Nicks floor length velvet coats, for hanging out with the stoners? Who will crochet me granny-square scarves? Am I to cobble my own giant clogs with studs or pre-distresesd motorcycle boots (for wearing on the subway, of course)? These are some of the very many questions Lucky, and its new parent company, Liz Claiborne, have left me with.

I conferred with the two managers (who no doubt were preparing to act as bouncers, should I reach the hysterical state I seemed to be working myself into) at my local Lucky store, and learned that, for now, the accessories were still from the old, Gene-and-Barry, long-live-rock-n-roll Lucky. So, I bought these $54 shoes as one last hurrah (and possibly some earrings... and a set of bracelets). With a 5 inch heel they make me hugely tall and vaguely menacing. Should be very helpful the next time I run into Tim Gunn in my neighborhood and proceed to take him to task for destroying my store. No doubt I'll be asked to remove them for the mugshot and/or visit with the court-appointed psychiatrist (I do hope it's B.D. Wong).

Rain, Rain, Stay All Day

2010-04-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

You know what would be so freaking awesome? If it would just rain some more. Truly, it just has not rained enough this spring. For sure my feet have perma-sog, but that is a small price to pay for the joy that is chilly, wet overcast days, weeks on end. I honestly hope that we never see a sunny warm day ever again, and I commemorate this desire with a $21 floral blouse covered in flowers, all in varying shades of glorious gray.

Gift Me

2010-04-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

It is my birthday month (yes, I get a whole month, I am just that awesome), and all my good friends are helping me celebrate! My pal Mr. Loehmann, my buddy Ms. Sephora, the friendly Mr. B. Republic and my new BFF, Dr. Antrhopologie.

OK, I do have actual human friends and family and they may remember my birthday, but they typically do not offer me a set of lip glosses, $15 of free merchandise, or clothing at an additional 15% off. Or this awesome glazed leather bag for $85, courtesy of my aforementioned BFF. Of course, a true BFF would figure out just where I am supposed to store all these bags. And she would not say, "wherever the frick you're gonna store all those boots, you boot-n-bag-crazy fool." Becuase that is not a nice way to talk to the birthday girl.

It's Warm! It's Warm! It's Warm!

2010-04-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

Love this for $19.50, under a suit, or with jeans. Of course, I prefer the Kansas version,

but you may prefer the Oz version, in technicolor.

Secret Vice

2010-03-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have a thing for belts. It is not unlike my thing for boots. Well, it is unlike my thing for boots in that my belt obsession is more easily hidden, as I can fit all the belts on a belt hanger in my closet. Here is the one I am most recently obsessing over, $14 with a coupon. Perfect for one of those 'it's-a-shirt, no-it's-a-dress, no-it's-a-shirt' shirts. Or dress.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

2010-03-11T16:54:00.000-08:00

These $30 knee-high boots are calling to me. "Jayn, won't you take us in? We have never had a real home to call our own. And we just know we would love it with you With all the other boots you have already taken in, every day would be like a party!"

But, alas, I must respond, "O, beautiful, brown boots of a height I do not yet possess, I just cannot take you in. I have sworn an oath to leave space in my room for a bed."

Being so cruel to those innocent, and inexpensive, boots has left me feeling like a true bitch. Which is to say, I feel like myself. And so I very much want to welcome this $15 'Bitch is the New Black' shirt to my overcrowded middle drawer. Except the two family members in their formative years can both read, and will without a doubt shout the text on this shirt far and wide, causing Child Services to remove them from my custody. And as much as that would provide me with a well-deserved break, the whole episode would, in the end, cost me dearly child in psychologist fees. And so I leave this item behind as well.

Chain Gang

2010-03-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

It feels like all I do lately is work. Well, there has been some cookie-eating, especially yesterday. And it would be a baldfaced lie to claim there was no hot chocolate-drinking. And, of course, there is the diet coke-drinking, but that is more of an intravenous drip and less of an activity.

To mark my constant feeling that I am a prisoner on a chain gang, I am considering these $50 boots. The connection is a bit of a stretch, I know, but when I work so hard, I feel I deserve gifts. And who best knows what those gifts should be? I do, I do!

Fear of a Blue Jacket

2010-02-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone has irrational fears. Well, everyone else has irrational fears - mine are all entirely reasonable. Wearing patterns: what am I a clown? Loose teeth: OMG, too scary to even contemplate. Speaking in front of large groups: I might get ridiculed by a significant partner, after presenting at a meeting of firm leaders, who claimed I was reading too much off my notes, hypothetically of course. Lastly, blue: what shoes do you wear, can you wear jeans, what matches it - help me!!

If you are immune to the terror that is the color blue, you should purchase this $17.50 jacket. It comes in both Scary Blue and Blue Fright. Take your pick, just leave me out of it.

Scarf it down

2010-02-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

We get it, Winter. You've been feeling a little overlooked, what with all the talk about global warming, and you just want to remind us all you're still here. Well, let me assure you that with the third blizzard, you really got your point across. We remember you. You can stop now.

But just in case you don't, I've shelled out $3 bucks for this scarf.

Shoe Me the Money

2010-02-17T19:18:00.000-08:00

I may have mentioned this before, but periodically Amanda needs to remind me that I am not, in fact, Sheryl Crow. You would think the lack of royalty checks would tip me off. I'm not that clever. But clever enough to find these for $35.

Title with Vest Pun

2010-02-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

One day last week I watched the Today show - well, I watched the Today show every day last week, and every day of the last 26,000 weeks as well - and they did an instructional piece on layering. They took their usual somebody-please-give-me-a-sandwich model and put her in a reasonable top and, alas, leggings. Then they 'layered' roughly 73 other items on top, including a vest, a belt, a cardigan, a parka, a down vest, a hat and a reasonably small blue plastic child's chair. Oddly, by the end of the lesson, this 83 1/2 pound woman looked laughably puffy and wide. So much so that the show's host started to giggle. Thank you , Today Show; lesson learned!

That said, I think this little 'boyfriend' vest (does your actual boyfriend wear a vest with a shirred back panel?) over a tailored blouse and with a skinny belt would make an attractive ensemble - with actual pants of course.

Back in Black

2010-01-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

That trip into the wide world of color was scary. Admittedly, both items were the same color... Nonetheless, I must retreat back to the warm comfort of black. Sometimes pairing it with the shocking contrast of gray, you know, when I am feeling full-on cuh-razy.

This dress at Esprit.com's incredibly painful-to-use site is only $17.50 with their 30% off coupon.

Purplicious

2010-01-25T19:26:00.001-08:00

I spent my entire childhood in purple. That means that in nursery I wore a purple pinafore and rode a sparkly purple tricycle. I spent elementary school playing in my purple-flowered room, in a purple dress, or riding my purple bicycle, wearing a lavender windbreaker . And because my childhood, apparently, continued straight through high school, I had a purple curling iron, purple lipstick, purple moccasins, and, so sorry to say, purple heart-shaped glasses that, even now, I cannot convince myself were ironic. Purple sweater, purple eyeshadow, purple earrings (again with the hearts). It really is no surprise that I spent my twenties in various shades of black.

But lately I have come around to the idea of a touch of purple as an accent color, to the notion that one can enjoy wearing a color without extending the theme to include mascara (you didn't think I missed out on plum mascara, did you?) and eyeliner, (lavender, on the inside of the bottom lid, of course). Here are two awesome purple suede purses, for $15 and $80. Either is big enough to slip in a small purple notebook and purple glitter paint pen.

The Legend of Brooklyn

2010-01-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, many years ago, as far back as the late '90s, in a faraway village called East, there lived a group of twentysomethings. They were all recent college graduates, some from Pratt, some from NYU -- though the latter would be quick to tell you they were in Gallatin, and all bankrolled by parents they liked to pretend they didn't have.

They were happy in their little Village, and rarely left, until one fateful day, when the Villagers found themselves with a lot of time on their hands. You see, unsuccessful dotcom start-ups pretty much ran themselves, they couldn't watch TV because they all pretended they hated TV, and none of the Villagers was due to get a new face tattoo anytime soon. So they decided to go on adventure.

"Where should we go?" cried one, as she fiddled with her lip ring.

"We could go West," suggested another.

"No, not West! West is the Land of the Men Who Are Gay Unironically. We cannot go west," explained the first.

"How about South?" offered a third Villager.

"No, not South! I had Chinese for lunch," said another, running his hand through his dreadlocks.

They all knew they could not go North, for they were afraid of North. North was the domain of the People in Suits, and the Villagers were terrified the People in Suits would trap them in their cubicle dungeons. So that left only . . .

"East? How can we go East? East is only water!" wondered the Villagers.

"Then we will CROSS the water!" declared the bravest of them all.

So they all put on their tightest jeans, and packed some kimchi for the road, and departed on their journey to cross the water, which they did via the L train.

And lo and behold, once they made it to the other side, they were rewarded for their bravery and cunning, for the found a land of riches, a magical land no one had ever seen before. There were dive bars as far as the eye could see, vintage clothing shops on every corner, and not a single Starbucks. Indie music filled the air, PBR flowed like water, and a faint scent of pot tingled their noses.

The Villagers cried in delight, and hugged each other -- but, you know, ironically. "We have discovered the promised land! A land no one has ever seen before! We will call it Brooklyn. Here we can dwell, and open pottery studios!"

And so they stayed, and they live there to this day.

Commemorate their historic journey with this t-shirt, $16 through Sunday.

Fold Me Up, Fold Me Down

2010-01-21T16:38:00.000-08:00

I love this 'origami' cardigan. The neck is adorned with precisely my type of origami - meaning origami done by those short on skill and patience. The neck is covered in squares with each corner folded down precisely once. But so cute, right?

Tank for the Memories

2010-01-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to be in Florida right now. Right now, do you hear me?! I am not. I am instead martyring myself for my job. A big, giant February deadline looms, and I have to pretend to be an adult and stick around and see that all the work gets done and possibly even do some of it myself. But every time I put on another layer, or see my hat-head and bright red nose in the mirror after I come in from the cold, I just want to cry.

So, I am going to change into this $14 Lucky tank that reminds me so much of every childhood summer I spent in Delray Beach, home of shuffleboard and clubhouse card games. I will turn up the heat fill the the bathroom with steam and pretend to work on that elusive perfect tan that anybody else with my utter lack of melanin would have given up on at around age 7 but that I somehow still think is almost within reach.

Cord-ally Yours

2010-01-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

Boots, sports bottles, thermals... what do these things have in common? They are all things I liked so much, I went out and bought more and more and more of them; if one is good, 23 are even better. More is more. At this point I am either a compulsive or a 'collector.' Let's go with the latter term.

Sadly, cords fall into the collectibles category. Admittedly it took 4 or 5 years, but now I need never buy myself another pair. But perhaps you have not discovered the cord. If you, like me, resist dressing up on your days off, then you, like me, will appreciate how a good pair of cords can take over where jeans leave off. And, at only $17, these are bootcut, allowing room for your collectible boots, and possibly a sports bottle or two.

Only a Hobo...

2010-01-07T19:24:00.000-08:00

... and only $20. (Plus, it gave me the opportunity to reference vintage Rod Stewart.)
The bag comes in blue and beige, but obviously black is the way to go. I mean, blue? What am I? A clown?
And now Amanda is now thinking, "If you only were - then you could entertain at bat mitzvahs."

Tie One On (It Is New Year's Eve, After All)

2009-12-31T15:20:00.000-08:00

I cannot decide whether it was a lucky day for me when Lucky started selling shoes, or possibly the most unluckiest of all days. Regardless, I now own more pairs of their shoes than I should, and it has already been established that I own more boots than a small nation of size 8 1/2 footed women could ever wear. It's unlikely that either of these things can be said about you, so you may consider these boots, half off at $104.50. I have nicknamed them Lacey, for obvious reasons. The Cagney boots are much tougher and brassier.

Chick on a Mission

2009-12-23T07:12:00.000-08:00

The 50% - 75% off Lucky sale starts the day after Christmas. It is an indication of how devoted we, your bloggers, are to you and to this blog that we will be there on day 1. I have formulated a plan of attack, starting with step 1, the reconnaissance mission, scoping out potential sale items. It's fun - I rent a van, fill a thermos with hot cocoa, park on Columbus Avenue, and get out my binoculars. Or sometimes I just fill a mug with the bittersweet chocolate elixer and do my reconnaissance work from right here at my kitchen counter.

Right now I am tracking this dress, potentially $60.

This cardigan is also an item of interest, worthy of my attention, possibly because my kitchen is freezing and the steaming cup of chocolate is not yet ready.

Also, I kind of like these chandelier earrings, which are only $21 now, so imagine the potential savings! I think I like them mostly because they remind me of a photo I saw recently of a chandelier that, in a life-imitating-art-imitating-life moment, was said to be a lighting fixture that was shaped like a chandelier earring.

Elementally Fringed

2009-12-07T16:27:00.000-08:00

Am I really supposed to pass this up? It's fringed, it's Jack Black, and it's $16.99. Folks, I am not made of stone (unlike a certain hateful, ubiquitous, blood-sucking immortal).

Purple Daze

2009-11-26T18:49:00.001-08:00

I saw these plum satin beauties in the window of Urban Outfitters and I stopped in my tracks, struck by a sudden need for them. By the time I had turned around and entered the store, mere seconds later, I already had come up with the need that they satisfied; to complement a silver dress that, at $24, cost even less than these $28 flats. Wow, I'm good.
(Also, cute with jeans.)

Collar the Market

2009-11-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I wear a coat with a collar I get nervous that the collar will flap around and my lipstick will rub onto it. Which is weird, because mostly I buy lipstick and then keep it safely in my medicine cabinet. But once in awhile I wear lipstick - until I get to work and eat my breakfast at my desk. And during the period from when I first put the coat on until I remove my coat and take my first bite of cranberry muffin, I am always craning my neck in weird ways to keep that collar clean. This coat ($97 with the 25% off code) has its collar firmly secured by buttons. So for the five minutes that Im actually wearing lipstick, I won't be doing that weird pigeon thing with my neck. I'm hoping that means an end to the old man with the baggy pants tossing crusts of bread in my direction.

Slipper-y When Cold

2009-11-16T19:35:00.000-08:00

It may be unseasonably warm according to Al Roker, but that's just outside. Inside it is freaking freezing - at work and at home. I desperately need some cozy, furry slippers to keep me warm - you know, that whole pulse points thing. That's why American Apparel sells those terry sweatbands, no doubt, to keep the hipsters warm. Wait - where was I before I got distracted by visions of lame lycra leggings and faux/not faux soft core porn ads? Yes, cozy, furry slippers. I need me some of these for $15.

And, seriously, it's so cold at work despite someone having done this to the vent, that I might wear the slippers there, too.

Le No? Le Yes!

2009-11-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

The dealmaker: This top is $20. It has some of that recently popular bat wing sleeve, but it's cinched with an empire waist, so you don't look shapeless or like you might take flight.

The dealbreaker: It's called the Leno blouse. There is something so repulsive about Jay Leno and his scary chin, that simply because an item shares his name, I would seriously run from it, screaming, arms flailing. Perhaps you will not have as visceral a reaction, although I will never understand why not.

Sweet November

2009-11-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

November has arrived, and, with it, inevitably, will come two annual occurrences that arrive like clockwork: the onset of winter and my search for the perfect flat leather boot under $100.

But I must say I'm feeling good about both of these things this year. For one thing, the high yesterday was 70 degrees. For another, I've already found these.

P.S. When you visit the boots at their web site, don't worry about that third commenter down -- the one from Canada, who complains that boots never fit her perfectly toned calves and approves of the wearing of leggings. That's three strikes right there -- we'll take care of her.

Go Tuck Yourself

2009-11-10T15:58:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you like to tuck your cords into boots. But sometimes that proves a difficult task, as your calves are too, you know, muscular. Plus, it's just plain hard to jam those gams in alongside your pants, which are all folded up and pushed up weird. So you need these tapered cords for $40.

If, while you are buying those cords, you also purchase these 'arm warmers,' goodbye, it was nice knowing you, but you are no longer welcome around these parts.

The Hoser Hut

2009-11-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

In New York City, people don't have lawns. But that doesn't seem to stop people from watering the land right outside their front door. It is not clear to me WHY people stand outside, drenching the sidewalk with a garden hose every single morning, but it happens. And the resulting puddles can reach havoc on my black suede ballet flats. Since the dirty looks I give these urban gardeners as I daintily tiptoe through the marshy sidewalk, trying to keep as much of the delicate suede out of the water as possible, don't seem to be having an effect, I am forced to search for an alternate footwear option. I'm thinking these. $27.99 and free shipping -- that is, if the mailman is willing to wade through the flood outside my front door.

Esprit de Store

2009-11-04T16:36:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school, my family would drive in to NYC and my mother would take me shopping at Urban Outfitters, where she'd buy me all matter of things Esprit. It's there that I got the awesomest Esprit hot pink loafers, and somehow even more awesomer Esprit paint splattered pants (with ankle zippers!). And what do I remember best about these trips? A single instance in which a man stood at the entrance to Urban Outfitters screaming over and over "What the fuck is Balduccis? What the fuck is Balduccis?" Exactly the memory my mother was trying to create.

The story does go a long way toward explaining a) my allegiance to Urban Outfitters b) my adoration of the word 'fuck' c) my attraction to Esprit. Evidence of point 'c': this dress (which I snagged over the weekend for $50 at 30% off).

Hat's It!

2009-10-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

One of Jayn's and my favorite things about New York City is how impossible it is to faze people in this city. In another city, a giant face tattoo might garner some stares or funny looks. Here, it just serves as landmark, telling you you've entered the East Village. In another city, people might be unnerved by the fact that they are sharing a subway car with a man in a panda suit. Here, he's just another body to push past as you board.

But today, my friends, I have discovered something that will shock even the most freak-accustomed New Yorker. What is it, you ask? What could possibly draw the curious stares of this jaded populace? The answer, dear readers, is a girl in an awesome hat.I had donned this fetching little cloche, which I picked up for a mere $15 at a Florida Target, to brave the chill in the air on my way to work. As I waited at the bus stop, sat quietly on the cross-town ride, boarded the elevator in my office building, I felt all eyes upon me. I could feel the curious stares, hear their unasked questions -- "What is that? Who would wear such a thing?"

In retrospect, their shock and awe was really not that surprising. After all, we don't have a Target in Manhattan.

Photo credit

Wrap It Up, I'll Take It

2009-10-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

I still don't believe that a warm-blooded human should ever wear a scarf in the heat, whether that be the white hot lights on the American Idol stage or the oven that is the NYC subway in the summer, but I am now willing to acknowledge the value of the flimsy scarf. I'm sure it has a real name, but I don't know what it it is and I don't care what it is, and I think the term flimsy scarf makes my point quite clearly. I mean those wide, fringed, usually rayon or cotton, flimsy scarves.

The flimsy scarf is perfect for that weather we in my family call 'in-betveen,' when a light jacket is just not quite enough. It's also the perfect accessory for the purely hypothetical office that is freezing in summer and freezinger in winter. One where many of the vents are taped over with duct tape or jammed with deli napkins, and you could swear that over by the copier there is a hint of snow in the air.

Here's a cute $12.50 one from Old Navy. Notice that because it is multiple colorful patterns on a single item, I can still wear it despite both my pattern and color phobias. I think that somehow a colorful multi-patterned item paradoxically works to soothe my phobias in much the same way that ritalin calms those with ADHD, despite its being a stimulant. Also it's possible I have had too much diet coke today.

Boot-Ready

2009-10-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

Boot weather is officially here! For fun, and to give friends and family yet another reason to question my sanity, I created a photo boot diary, featuring pics of me wearing an embarrassingly large number of unique pairs of boots over the span of a week.

Now that all questions about my mental state have been settled... what suits a boot better than a little pencil skirt? Take a look at this great cord skirt with piping and a belt! Also, reminisce with me about the olde days, when a plastic belt was not referred to as 'vegan.'

Sit Back, Enjoy the Shoe

2009-10-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I went to see Bruce Springsteen at the Meadowlands and I learned an important lesson in security. If a concertgoer brings a backpack (offense 1) with a laptop (offense 2), she is a security risk and must be barred from entry. However, if she gets herself some free Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band plastic bags from the souvenir-y stand, and places her backpack, laptop, ballet flats and other items inside those bags, she is warmly welcomed into the stadium.

When I returned home from the show, I was not unhappy to see that one of those ballet flats had been left behind in the stadium parking lot. They were several years old and they pinched my heels. So, look at these awesome replacements I found - $29, and with this season's studs! (Check out the awesome, not-in-my-size gray.) I am steadfastly avoiding investigating the black ballet flat I may or may not have glimpsed under my umbrella stand.

Frozen Yogurt Attire

2009-10-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

You know what's fun? To have the time to take a nice yoga class, and just perhaps to fall asleep at the end when you're just lying there and the lights are off. (Not so much fun when you wake yourself up with a loud snore, but that has never happened to me.) But let's say you lead the hectic, modern life. It might be hard for you to fit yoga in. But it might be fun to just wear the pants you would wear to yoga, without going anywhere near a yoga studio, for $15. You could even turn the lights down and lie on the couch in your yoga pants, possibly with a pint of Ben and Jerry's with some suitably yoga-inspired flavor name. They must have one.

Shut It Down (please help me!)

2009-10-07T17:03:00.001-07:00

Ever wonder what would happen if you watched every episode of the Rachel Zoe project (at least) once? I mean, apart from endlessly pondering the question of how a woman who is so uber-skinny can have such a round, puffy face. (And apart from marveling at how perfectly Taylor keeps her roots touched up and whether Rodger's name always had that "d" in it.)

Well, if you already had a mild 70's obsession, repeated viewings of the series would lead you to consider purchasing this faux fur vest for $38 (coupons!). I mean, it's bananas. I die.

Teal Crazy (After All These Years)

2009-10-04T21:50:00.001-07:00

Mostly when I go for that 'pop of color' it's a hint of charcoal gray topping off an all black outfit. But periodically I have a "chicks gone wild" moment, and impulsively buy an item of color. It's doubtful that item will ever get worn, of course, so it's best if I indulge in this utter madness on the cheap, like these teal peep toes for $15.

The Fast and the Furious Eating

2009-09-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

Let's say you spent an entire day (and the night before) not eating. This is not a nightmare, my friends, or even a bad horror movie - this really happened to me! What would you wear that night, when you are stuffing your face with, let's say, bagels and brownies? Well, I have just the $49 dress for you.

Waiting (Waiting) on the Weather to Change

2009-09-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

First I need to explain the title here - - I have been singing that infernal John Mayer song all day. Whenever I wasn't singing 'Single Ladies,' of course. Which jammed itself into my head just when I thought 'Gold Digger' was there to stay and would any day now start receiving those free charity return labels with my brain as address line 1.

OK, on to this dress. Let me be honest here. I know I was hanging on to summer, but now it's almost October and it's still over 80. Hey - some of us have boots to wear! But if fall is going arrive fashionably late, I will be waiting for it in this pretty, pretty silk dress. With a little black cardi. And maybe with this belt.

ommmmmmg!

2009-09-24T06:35:00.000-07:00

Today only, a 20% off sale at yoga-inspired Satya Jewelry ! And this applies to the sale jewelry too. Check out this garnet'n'gold necklace for $46, from $88. If I were you, I'd stick to the jewelry, and nama-stay away from the statues.

The Bag Not Taken

2009-09-16T21:22:00.001-07:00

If I didn't just buy an awesome bag I didn't need at Verve (a new favorite store!), I would have bought this corduroy baby for$34 with my 25% off coupon. I was nearly persuaded by the Gap salesperson (who is about to retire, after 20 years, with a pension - did you know Gap salespeople got pensions?), but unfortunately for her, the persuasive Verve salesperson got to me first (hi, Lori!). The bag has a very east parking lot/burnout kind of thing going on. I mean, I am sure there is a pocket perfect for cigarettes and another for coal black eyeliner.

Almost Fall

2009-09-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

It's getting harder and harder to claim it's still summer. I actually wore boots today. I snatched up a snazzy velvet 'boyfriend' jacket for $29. Yes, soon I will have to acknowledge fall. But, not yet! Today at Sephora I got this awesome Stila 'as good as golden' set, consisting of illuminating finishing powder and sun bronzing powder, for $10. Now, in September, I can have the tan I somehow never achieved after an entire summer in front of my laptop.

And if you buy this set and it doesn't float your boat, just return it to the library that is Sephora. To paraphrase Miss Penny Lane: I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun... And if you ever get lonely, just go to Sephora and visit your friends.

Weave Me the Sunshine

2009-09-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Good news! It's rainy and cool again here! Honestly, if I wanted to live somewhere where there's only one season, I would live in Southern California (I will not say SoCal), where there is one warm season and I could bask in the sunshine every day. And also see firsthand whether the women there really look they they do on E!-type TV shows (which I don't watch - especially not "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," "Tori & Dean," or "Kendra"), like a completely different, evolutionarily divergent species.

Until I make that move, and get the requisite injections and surgeries, here is a great water-resilient bag, for $27. Trust me, in person it is not nearly so shiny and the woven front and substantial brass hardware make it look really expensive. Like you could afford to shop at Dash or go to Dr. Reyes when you finally make the big move west. Give my love to Liam and Stella.

They're my new "I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots" boots!

2009-09-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

So, last summer my girlfriend called me minutes after interviewing for a job in licensing for Lucky and told me, "You are in trouble. They're making shoes." Not only do they now have shoes, my friends, they have boots. Lucky Brand boots? I didn't even have a chance really, did I? On top of that, today I had a closet organizer come by and he actually told me that, if I was going to keep all my boots, there was literally nothing he could do to help me. Apparently, I have made a lifestyle choice.

Use your 30% of coupon code 9SEPFRNDS.

Hell No, You Won't Go

2009-08-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

My 'Hanging On To Summer' campaign, also known as the 'Summer 2009, You Owe Us Big and You're Not Going Anywhere' campaign, is in full swing. This $12 shirt is the logical next step. You can just feel the warm sun on your back, can't you?

Comes in other colors, for the non-colorphobic.

No, No, No, I Will Not Let You Go

2009-08-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

This year summer took its own sweet time coming along, did it not? And if it thinks it's leaving any time soon, it's got another think coming. I'll be damned if I am going to let it go just because September is approaching and every business, whether it sells all-weather radials (like I have ever owned a car) or tomato plants (ditto for me owning a garden), is having a back to school sale or, worse yet, has Halloween decorations up. When summer departs, my arms will be wrapped around its ankles and it will have to pry me off or kick me off or whatever my mother did when I did this to her. I will throw a shrieking, arms-flailing, foot-stamping tantrum right there in the middle of the street until I have shamed summer into staying.

And then I will wear this $20 pintucked dress every day.

Decanklize Yourself

2009-08-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. My gladiator sandals that buckle up my leg are utterly unflattering. In fact, in my head I secretly call them the canklemakers. I say it with a German accent, as if I am in one of those awesome Mentos commercials or even the Foo Fighters parody (in my head I am great with accents). And as much joy as doing that brings me, I would not be unhappy if the naked eye could distinguish my ankles from my calves, and these $20 gladiator-y sandals might just do the trick.

Totes Obvi

2009-08-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

Like Amanda, I believe it is not possible to have too many tote bags. If and when a radio dj (do we still have those? a podcast host?) calls me and offers me a cool mil if I can pack all my belongings into inexpensive tote bags, I will be prepared. But, just to be sure, I probably need to buy this $17 one, reminiscent of a Coach bag I have been visiting.

The Skinny on the Cheap

2009-08-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Urban Outfitters has all their Levi's jeans for $39. I have such a fondness for Levi's - they were my first pair of jeans and we got them at Youth Center. I wore them 'til they got holes, which I proudly covered with patches. That doesn't sound like me - - except it sounds exactly like me, really, doesn't it?

Anyway, let's just say you have a pair of skinny jeans that you are not always skinny enough to fit into (and let's just say a friend of yours less-than-graciously offered to take them off your hands because they would fit her so much better, or so she said), you might just want to buy these.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

2009-08-10T16:03:00.001-07:00

OK, here is how my last two weeks have gone: work work work work work work work work wedding work work work work work work. Also, there was an awesome chocolate cake thrown in there. But I think you get the general idea.

So what better to wear for all that work, than this $42 'workweardress'?! Why, nothing. Unless you're a dude. Or maybe even then. I don't judge. Who am I kidding? I judge plenty. But not men in dresses. Women in ugly dresses sure. Oh my god, I am cracking under the pressure of all that work. Quick, someone buy me this dress.

Skirting the Issue

2009-08-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

So, it turns out that there are events during the summer for which cutoff jean shorts are just not appropriate. I know - who knew, right? So for just such occasions, might I suggest this $12.50 jean skirt? Ignore where it Old Navy calls it "high-rise," because I have this skirt, and the phrase seems to be merely euphemistic for "your pelvic bones are safely hidden from view."

Not fancy enough for ya? Really step it up with this $20 skirt. But, beware, Old Navy actually calls this one "low-rise," which may mean it sits around your ankles.

Stained Lass

2009-08-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

One great thing about purchasing cosmetics from drugstores instead of Sephora is that you can buy more of them. Not that I ration my Sephora purchases. But I got this new Cover Girl product, Outlast Lipstain, to test for free. I like the product -- it gives me a nice, stained look (stained in a good way, not in an I-need-Tide-to-Go way, which is good because I hate Tide to Go, it smells like vomit which I choose to believe is because it is digesting the stain) and is fun to apply. It's like drawing on your lips with a marker, which is more enjoyable than it sounds.

The problem with Outlast Lipstain is that it doesn't really outlast anything. It doesn't stay on very long -- certainly not through my Grande Caramel Light Frappucino -- and it can be a little drying. But like I said, it's cheap (or free, in my case), so I can afford another product to layer over it and help it stay on longer. It's nice with a clear gloss or lip balm. I recommend buying at least five.

Get Thee to an Old Navy

2009-08-01T17:59:00.001-07:00

I was all set to order this Greek-inspired top, for $8.75 using my 30% discount. Except it's only available, through midnight tomorrow, in stores. And, I may not have mentioned this, but I have a wedding to go to.

Bubblicious

2009-07-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

As alluded to earlier, it's never, not ever going to stop raining. Never never never. Not ever. So, time to man up (chick up?) out and get yourself this bubble umbrella, just like the one you had (or desperately desired) as a child. While shielding you from the inevitable downpour, the clear plastic also lets the world enjoy your cute outfit, brightening others' day. So buying it is a purely altruistic move.

Wedding Crashers

2009-07-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

So, remember those shoes I ordered for the wedding I'm going to? Gotcha! Trick question! I didn't actually order them. You thought I did though, didn't you? Well, so did I. But it seems like I forgot to press that very last confirmation button. Surely it can't be for lack of experience in online ordering...

So, there I was, with no shoes. And then I lost my watch. Not my everyday watch, but my fancy schmancy watch that will cost a pretty penny to replace. So, feeling rushed and pretty cash-poor, I stopped in at my local Payless, and there they were - $15 pewter wedding shoes! Now, frankly, it's quite possible that there will be a checkpoint at the entrance to the exclusive town in which this wedding is being held and I won't be allowed through, what with the shoes being so cheap and my having to wear a swatch. It is a risk I'm more than willing to take.

The Five and Ten

2009-07-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like Urban Outfitters has thrown in the towel, and utterly given up on even the remotest possibility that summer is actually ever coming to NYC this year, and accordingly has marked their prices waaay down, with many items a mere $5 or $10 (OK, $4.99 or $9.99, if you must be such a stickler for accuracy. And yes, apparently I must be.). Let their loss of faith be your wardrobe gain. Especially since you just know August will be hotter 'n hell starting at precisely 12:00:00 AM on 8/1/09.

$5!

$10

$10 (leatha)

It figures

2009-07-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for the perfect affordable summer flats for weeks. I've pored over thousands of web sites, made trips to hundreds of shoe stores, and tried on dozens of different pairs. I sent Jayn countless e-mails, texts and IMs asking, "What do you think of these?" I lost sleep night after night, tossing and turning and debating the merits of slingbacks vs. huaraches.

So it makes sense that once I gave up my search for shoes I could afford and forked over $80 for a pair that I would come across these. $15. Old Navy. Perfect.

Wedding Sells

2009-07-19T17:00:00.001-07:00

As you are aware, I have been invited to a wedding. I have officially selected my dress, (by which I mean, I purchased five dresses, selected the priciest dress and returned the other four - and yes, that is a productive use of my spare time) and now the search for accessories is underway at full throttle.

I completely intended to wear shoes I already have, but then, well.... even I can't rationalize purchasing new shoes. Then I saw these shoes below and they go so well with the jewelry I plan to wear (by which I mean, I have purchased and not yet returned), and they are only $40. They are the perfect height - while I could dance in them, they are also high enough that I can claim I can't, should I not be in the mood to dance in endless circles in a dance step all the other women learned earlier in their lives, but that I somehow missed entirely. And they'll be so useful - I mean, can't you see me wearing these at work? To the beach? On my daily, sometimes twice-daily, trip to the Food Emporium? There! That was a decent rationalization

oh, and to get free shipping, isn't this an awesome little clutch? you know, to get free shipping.

Lashing Out

2009-07-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

We've never really posted about cosmetics on this blog, which is odd when you think about the tight-knit relationship that Jayn and I have with Sephora. To us, the store is something like Blockbuster Video. (Remember that place? When people actually went to a store to rent movies? And they came on VHS? And then they told people that they weren't charging late fees anymore except they totally were and got sued? Don't know how those ads got past a legal team. But I digress.) We go to Sephora, browse the titles, and when we find one we want to watch (or try), we check it out. Then, after we've tried it, we bring it back and exchange it for something else.

NOTE: I would feel bad about the fact that I return so much stuff to Sephora. But then I think about how certain I am that I will be invited to join their new VIP Insider program, the one reserved for people who spend a minimum of $350 a year at Sephora, and suddenly I don't feel at all bad about returning the products that I don't like, or, in many cases, don't work (every eye cream ever that swears it will get rid of dark circles).

That being said, I think it is time for the first beauty-related post here on Luckier. (Unless there already was one and I forgot.)

Perhaps my favorite beauty discovery ever is Blinc Kiss Me mascara. As far as I am concerned, it is the greatest mascara ever. Their tagline is, "Stop painting your lashes, tube them," which refers to the fact that the mascara forms tiny little tubes around your individual lashes, as opposed to just coating them in paint. The benefit is that lashes are beautifully defined and will never, ever smear or flake. It's so smudge-proof I can even wear it on my lower lashes, which formerly was a no-no (see earlier reference to need for dark-circle-remover). It doesn't lengthen or thicken, so if that's what you're looking for, this may not be the product for you. It just beautifully defines and enhances, and removes easily with warm water -- no make-up remover needed. I've also never had a problem with it getting in my contact lenses.

The only drawback is the price tag. $24 is a lot to be spending on mascara. So I was pleased to discover a Luckier choice -- L'Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara. They advertise the same "tube" formula and easy

removal, plus an extra "ultra-nourishing base coat." Frankly, I've been wearing this product for two weeks and still have not figured out what this base coat does. The only nice thing is that it coats your lashes white, which helps ensure you get full coverage when you apply the mascara. It doesn't apply quite as nicely as Blinc, but I've gotten compliments on my long lashes from two different people since I started wearing the L'Oreal stuff, so it must be doing something right. It doesn't come off quite as nicely as the Blinc, either, but still doesn't require make-up remover. And it comes in two shades, as opposed to Blinc's one (although how Black AND Blackest Black are really two different color is beyond me). But it was around $9 -- less than half the price of Blinc -- and easy to pick up at any drugstore.

Not that I ever mind having to make a trip to Sephora.

Stop the Insanity

2009-07-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

I went to parochial school for 10 years, and I am fairly certain one of the commandments is 'Allow not false fitness claims to lead you into the world of incredibly hideous footwear.' I bring up this commandment, that was inexplicably overlooked when the top ten list was compiled, because the advent of the 'fit flop' seems to have led many astray from this incredibly obvious mandate. You know this shoe - it's a flip flop with a thick, orthopedic looking white sole and leather upper (or patent leather, or even, shudder, sequined, or even these monsters, that I am nearly 100% certain my grandfather wore while washing his beloved Oldsmobile, and while I'm all for nostalgic shopping, that is really taking it too far) and its manufacturer claims that just wearing the shoe is like working out. As if toned legs and an improved cardiovascular system were worth dressing your feet like dorks.

And yet, everywhere I look, this is what people are wearing! How do you explain this? The other day my friend was wearing them, so I asked her, "Is it true that, like the site says, you can 'get in shape without setting foot in a gym?'" And, in a moment that's had me laughing all week, she gestured to her belly and said, "What do you think?!"

Instead, I beg of you, buy these flip flops for $8 (you can by 7 pair and still save $4 over the price of one pair of fit flops). True, you won't believe you are getting a workout, but at least you'll be able to look at your feet without feeling you have betrayed them.

Or, for the love of all that is cute, choose these sandals. True, you can only get 4 pair of these for the price of the fit flops, but surely cute footwear has some inherent health benefits.

The blind leading the blinded by the light

2009-07-08T16:59:00.001-07:00

While walking home the other day, I saw a blind man (so identified by his white cane) crossing the street while talking on a cell phone. As someone who all-too-often uses cellular communication devices while walking, I was amused by the thought that no one could yell at him, "Hang up the phone and watch where you're going!"

In honor of that man, and of Stevie Wonder's ironic choice of words at Michael Jackson's funeral --- "This is a moment that I wished that I didn't live to see come." -- I want to blog about sunglasses.

If you want cute, cheap sunglasses, there are a few ways to go about getting them. You could work on Canal Street, as I do, and have 11 different men offer to sell you a "designer" pair out of their suitcase in the half a block between your office's front door and the subway every day.

Or you could pay $6 for these. Love them!

Credit Where Credit is Due

2009-07-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

You are all completely welcome. What do you mean, "why?" Because I blogged about that raincoat and bought an umbrella. What do you mean, "so?" Why do you think it didn't rain today? Now you see. Like I said, you are completely welcome.

Now that we've had 5 non-rainy days in a row, I am sorely tempted to buy this awesome sundress for $40.

And the shoes are pretty awesome, too, if you don't already own 4 pair of gladiator sandals. And maybe even if you do. They would make a nice thank you gift to me for bringing out the sun. I wear size 8. OK, really 8.5.

Not an Addict

2009-07-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

I think Jayn and I have officially overstayed our welcome at the Lucky sale. I'm fairly certain the number of times we've each been into a Lucky store can no longer be counted on one hand -- and when you add in visits to the web site, you're going to have to start counting toes, too. Hell, I've even started buying Lucky for the unborn.

So I think it's time we quit this little habit . . . compulsive obsession . . . dangerous addiction . . . whatever you want to call it, we're quitting cold turkey. I will leave the Lucky site and go to another brand's web site entirely. Perhaps Free People. An excellent choice. They have some lovely stuff. Like, say . . . this top. It's cute. Colorful, flowy, kind of hippie-ish . . . you know, it looks like something you would find at . . . oh, crap. Do they make a gum for this? Maybe a patch?

Sun, Sun, Go Away

2009-07-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like summer's over. I mean we had our 4 sunny days, so it stands to reason that tomorrow we'll be suffering through yet another big, bad thunderstorm. I give up. I'm just going to buy me this $40 rain coat, toss it on, throw my feet in my Hunters, and I pretty much won't need to change until the first snow. I won't have a shred of sanity left by then, but I'll sure look cute.

Let Freedom Ring (in the Savings)

2009-07-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

What says freedom more than 75% free? Why, nothing, nothing indeed. And 75% off at Lucky - why, it would positively un-American not to buy something. It's your duty as a citizen of this fair country and as a reader of this here blog.

Start with this top for a mere $19.75. You patriot, you.

Addicted to Summer of Love

2009-06-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

The twice-yearly Lucky 50% off sale is going on now and I have to say I was a little underwhelmed by the offrerings. So, while I did buy these versatile black walking shorts,$30, I had just not fully satisfied my craving for 70's, hippie, boho chic. And, like adorable kittens and small children, addictions, too, must be fed.

I do dig this crochet-fabulous top for $25.50 at Urban Outfitters. Think of it as a nicotine patch - a boho-chicatine patch, if you will.

Euphemistically Speaking

2009-06-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

For various reasons -- let's say my hatred of the beach and the non-stop rain of late* -- I do not expect to put on a bathing suit ANY time soon. But if I did, I would like it to be this one ($29 for both pieces). I would also like to be this chick.

*While these are both valid reasons, I do admit that in this case, they are merely euphemisms for "my ass" and "my pasty white skin."

Ebony & Ivory (Live Together in Perfect Harmony)

2009-06-24T18:26:00.000-07:00

Amanda and I share more than this blog and a love of cupcakes. And a love of mac'n'cheese. We also share a lack of skin pigmentation. So I too cannot wear the dress she just blogged. But I can wear this top, that is, to a degree, the reverse of her dress. It's what you would see if you stared at the dress for a long time and then looked away. Is that a selling point? No? Then how about the $6.50 price tag?

Non-Whites Only

2009-06-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

I was born in the wrong century.

Had I been born, say, 200 years ago, I would be described as "fair" or "porcelain-skinned" and prized for my beauty. Instead, I was born in the 1980s, and have been called "whitey" pretty much ever since.

As a result of being so pale, I have to avoid wearing certain colors for fear of looking washed out. I never really know what those colors are until I am getting dressed in the morning and realize I look like crap. But one thing I do know is that I must avoid wearing all white at all costs. And that's why I will pass on this adorable sundress.

It's also why I've never been to P. Diddy's East Hampton White Party.

Portuguese Shoe o' War

2009-06-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

I bought these in pink a couple of weeks ago, when they were $20 and this sea foam green pair (the brand calls them "turquoise," though I disagree -- however, Jayn has become somewhat of an expert on the color turquoise, so I will leave it to her to cast the deciding vote) was $40. But now the sea foam green is on sale for $24.99! Which leaves me to wonder, do I need this pair, as well?

I'm pretty sure I do, and so do you, and here's why. While they look light and summery, they are actually quite well-suited for the never-ending monsoon that has taken residence in the skies above New York City. For one thing, they're not leather -- excuse me, they are 100% synthetic patent leather -- so you don't have to worry about them getting ruined in the rain like leather would, nor do they really get soaked like fabric does. And that cute little wedge heel lifts you up just high enough to avoid soaking your feet in the shallow puddles that are EVERYWHERE. (Save the really big puddles for your Hunters.)

Plus they're named Lisbon, for a city which, Wikipedia tells me, has one of the mildest climates in Europe, complete with sunny and dry summers. That is certainly something worth celebrating, particularly by immortalization in shoe-form.

Sandal Me

2009-06-21T20:13:00.001-07:00

I am really warming to this ingenious registry idea of mine. I'm just so clever. One of the best aspects of the "buy me things" registry is that you don't have to share it with anyone. No one is going to argue with you over a single choice you make because it's, say, redundant. Or, how do you say it? Unnecessary. Or, what's that word again? Frivolous. Or even because you don't have room for the shoes you already have. Throw these $40 galadiators on the registry, baby.

Where do I get one of those registry bar code scanners, so that I can keep it in my purse and whip it out at the sight of a must-have item, regardless of the store I'm in? Surely there's already an iPhone app.

Buy Me Things, Lots of Things

2009-06-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

I made a grave mistake when I got married that I plan to rectify now. See, I registered, but for a minimal amount of items, at a single store, and I had only a shower and a wedding, and I received only a single gift at each. I have since learned that I deserved an engagement gift and multiple shower gifts, as well as the wedding gift. And there should have been, in addition to the shower, a destination wedding, with a weekend's worth of group activities, a theme shower, and a bachelorette party (ideally also destinational in nature). (I am happy to report that spell check does not accept 'bachelorette' as a word. Because it's not. OK, it doesn't like 'destinational' either, but that's because I made that one up.)

I am rectifiying this situation by registering. Not for a wedding or a baby. Just formally creating a list of things I want. Should you wish to buy me a present - and who doesn't really? - the registry will be your go-to list of everything I simply must have. I recommend this approach to everyone, especially those who have not yet gotten married or had a baby, and have therefore not yet been in the position of instructing every person they have ever known what must be purchased for them, and where.

I am initiating my registry with this $30 skirt. It actually resembles the wrapping paper I just used to wrap three shower gifts. Buy it for me and I promise to spare you the toilet paper wedding dress game and the oohing and ahing at dish towels and measuring cups, as well as having to dedicate a holiday weekend to touring some remote city you never wanted to visit anyway.

The Perfect Quarantine Pant

2009-06-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have been in quarantine all week. Working, holding 10 conference calls a day, but in quarantine nonetheless. I started out dressed in actual clothes, but I've been sliding downhill all week. Today's pants are very loose and flowy, and the fold-over knit waistband is gentle to my person, but the pants are linen and that's just too formal for quarantine. As day four of my quarantine approaches, these cargo capri sweatpants seem to be the perfect next step in my quarantine pants continuum. Exiting the realm of the cargo, but not yet entering the kingdom of the sweatpant. And I need to pace myself, lest I find myself in 3 day-old pajama bottoms with cheezit stains I have no recollection of making.

A Scowl is a Frown Turned Right Side Up

2009-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Today I was literally trying to decide if I was cranky or crabby. Crabby or cranky. Such a tough decision and so little hinges on the outcome. So imagine my curmudgeonly thrill at finding this $15 scowl muscle tank? OK - it said 'cowl,' but how much better is 'scowl'? And, yes, that is the second time this week I have been convinced that my dyslexic interpretation is better than the actual copy.

Could you not wear this to work under a jacket? Could you not wear this with jeans out shopping? Could you not wear this out to dinner? With a scowl, or without (but with).

Snack Attack

2009-06-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm, yum, this shirt's color is "brownie." Not as clever a color as "Jack Black," but much tastier. Of course, how great would the "orange crush" shirt wash down the "brownie" shirt? I'm sure that's a combo Jack Black would appreciate and just as sure this style would not be the most flattering on him. So when his birthday rolls around, I'm definitely not getting it for him.

If Brooklyn's So Great, Why Are You HERE?

2009-06-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I am locked in my bedroom as a TV interview is being conducted in my living room. First the interviewer/sound guy/cameraman insulted my neighborhood. Then the man told me how great his neighborhood, South Williamsburg, is. This happened only hours after I complained (ranted) on Facebook about not being able to bear one more person's extolling the virtues of hip Brooklyn. Someone should tell this man how rude it is to a) insult your host's neighborhood, while in her living room, when perhaps nobody knows exactly where you went and therefore where to search for the body and b) to chat about the people living in your new, hip neighborhood for generations before you got there as if you are observing them in some sort of zoo. Also, learn to pronounce their sect's name - they are not 'the Satmire.'

And so, while stuck in my room, I am shopping. Are these not great? I know a certain hipster in my living room would not think so, because they are $20 and come from Old Navy. But I can quadruple their price, put them in an eco-bag with with the name of a store in some fake Brooklyn neighborhood ("Redhook Heights Vicinity" - or better yet, "DoWiSeTrePla") and watch him snap up a pair for his overly pierced ("it's art") girlfriend.

PS - the color is "Black Jack" which I misread, and preferred, as "Jack Black.

My pet dress

2009-06-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love dogs. I really do. I think that the only thing missing from my life right now is a canine companion. (Ok, that's a lie. For my life to truly be complete I will also need the deed to a 2-bedroom duplex in Manhattan, a personal chef, and the ability to run a mile. But a dog would be a good start.)

I will admit that I am spoiled. I grew up with the greatest dog in the world. (Rest in peace, Mac.) I know you don't believe me, and you probably think your dog is the greatest dog in the world, but you're wrong. I mean, can your dog walk himself? Well, Mac could. And did. It was awesome. He was also a loyal friend, always taking my side in fights against my brother.

So after growing up with the best dog in the world, in a house in the suburbs with a big backyard, I am kind of spoiled. I would love to have a dog now, but in a 200-square-foot apartment in Manhattan, where I live alone and don't always spend that much time at home, it's just not quite the same. It's a lot harder to have a dog here. A LOT harder. (Even though every other person in this city seems to be able to manage it.) So as much as it saddens me (and it saddens me very, very much), I'm not getting a dog right now.

But I suppose I can look on the bright side. With the money I would have used for dog food and vet bills, I can buy dresses. Lots and lots of dresses.

P.S. If I ever did get a dog, however, I would NOT get a poodle. Poodles are the worst dogs EVER. For one thing, they are ugly. For another thing, they are the devil. (This is a true fact.) As a child, I was once bit by a poodle, and I know it was premeditated. All poodles do is spend their day plotting how to kill you, hoping you'll be too distracted by their ugliness to suspect a thing. But I know better. I have no qualms about exacting my revenge on the entire devilish breed. Even if someone I cared about got a poodle, I can't guarantee that I could hold myself back from trying to kill it every chance I got. Watch out, poodles.

Strawberry Whine

2009-06-05T14:36:00.001-07:00

I went into K-Mart yesterday because it's not far from my apartment and I needed a bunch of things that I couldn't find anywhere else nearby. As a result of that trip, I have this advice to offer you: never buy a 6-foot ladder and a couple of 5-lb. hand weights in the same shopping excursion if you have to carry all of your purchases home.

Another result of that trip? Realizing that some of K-Mart's clothes are actually pretty cute. I got a striped racerback dress that I will totally wear. I couldn't find it on their site to show you, but I found this one, which I'm also loving. It makes me want some strawberries.

One Pattern, Two Patterns, Three Patterns, Four

2009-06-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

Wanna hear the weirdest thing about my fear of patterns? You know you do. While I fear a single pattern, I adore multiple patterns in a single item. Oxymoronic, no? It's kind of analogous to how some cold medicines will either knock you out or have you springing around your apartment like a Tigger wind-up toy. OK, maybe it's not, but that is kind of a fascinating range of side effects, is it not?

So I love this shirt. Although certainly not with the short shorts pictured that will force everyone who sees you to do a double take to ensure you did not in fact forget your pants at home (fingers poised over their tiny keyboards, ready to text their friends if in fact you did). And, Lord knows, not with leggings, or face the wrath of Amanda. Which, by the way, can be quite considerable in both its depth and breadth. And I mean that in a good way.

Don't think about walruses

2009-06-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

Like most incoming college students, I had to attend orientation the summer before my freshman year. Because my orientation was exclusively for Honors students, my experience may have been slightly different than that of some of the other freshmen. When the older student leading a workshop on choosing a major told us that his major was zoology, one of my really cool fellow Honors students took this as an opportunity to announce that he really loved walruses. I'm sure he thought this would make him cool in the eyes of this upperclassman, because not understanding what cool means is an inherent problem among Honors students. But instead, the orientation leader, who it later turned out was something of an expert in the field of researching some obscure sort of shellfish, announced, calmly but with a monumental amount of disdain the likes of which I have not heard before or since, "I have no interest in vertebrates."

This line -- and its delivery -- have stuck with me for many years, as I hoped I would someday have the opportunity to use it (or a variant, as I really don't feel one way or the other about vertebrates). And finally, after all this time, I am able to conclusively state:

I have no interest in leggings.

I just don't. I'm not interested in how comfortable they are, or any benefits they have. My disdain for the legging knows no bounds. I'm not interested in them. I'm not interested in them, and I want them to go away. And when they do, I hope they are accompanied by all those awkward, too-long-to-be-a-shirt-too-short-to-be-a-dress garments that were made to be worn with them, so the rest of us are not forced to spend time in stores holding things up to our person suspiciously and wondering why someone thought to make a dress that won't cover anyone's ass.

And when leggings do go away, we can all keep our legs warm under our dresses by wearing tights instead. This $12 dress looks great with them.

Stomp!

2009-06-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a crappy day. And what tops off a crappy day better than anything else? An evening on a crowded subway. I kid you not. A crowded subway can be the perfect place to take out your anger on perfect strangers (before coming home to your loved ones - and taking it out on them). A nice passive aggressive move is smashing a stranger's foot on your way out the door after he has body-slammed you with his backpack. Sigh, I wish I were kidding.

Ahhhh, these $50 shoes shall do the job nicely. Plus, I'm fairly certain I wore them in middle school.

Honesty is the best policy

2009-06-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

I have publicly declared my love for Gap's Supersoft line in the past. But here's something else I like about it: they are not lying when they say "supersoft," and I appreciate that sort of honesty from such a large corporation. You don't often find that these days, when corporate greed and corruption runs rampant.

Let the Gap know that you value their transparency and frankness by purchasing one of these Supersoft v-neck tees. At $10 each and in 11 colors, you can really show your gratitude.

Buy This

2009-05-28T21:47:00.001-07:00

It's late. I'm tired. I want this dress. $15.

I Thee Wept

2009-05-25T18:44:00.000-07:00

It was fun shopping for a dress for me to wear to the wedding Amanda was going to. There is no fun whatsoever involved in shopping for a dress for me to wear to a wedding I am going to. I would be lying if I said that after the shopping there wasn't both some quiet weeping and some wine involved. I would also be lying if I said a glass was involved.

So here are the dresses currently in the running. And by in the running, I mean I bought them all and now have two months to agonize over each and every one. Before buying another one. And returning them all and wearing the classic black column dress already in my closet.

$52. Might get a crick in my neck, though, if I have to pose that way for the entire wedding.

$52. OK , this is the picture my sister sent me from her phone, so you have to trust me that there is more to the dress than just this ruffed bodice. It's a knit top with a heavy satin skirt with interesting pleats.

Also $52. A little short - I'd have to let it down. I love the flowers. Black on black - what is more festive, really?

$137 at Bloomies. A favorite of several of the friends (victims) I have enlisted (forced) to assist in this search. I believe the Suri/Katie haircut is optional, but the dress hasn't arrived yet, so I can't be certain.

Feel free to do your own vicarious shopping. Weeping and wine (and wine glass) optional.

Everything in moderation

2009-05-21T15:44:00.001-07:00

Hello. I'm back again from another hiatus. I was dealing with some career issues. (They in no way prevented me from blogging, but I did have to deal with them, and I will pretend the relationship was causal.)

So what brought me back? Well, I was pondering one of life's important questions: how many black dresses is too many?

It's a difficult question, and one that requires consideration of many factors before determining the answer. For instance, does this question apply only

to ALL-black dresses? What about, say, black dresses with white stripes, or with pink flowers? What about trim? And seasonality? Sleeve length? Skirt length? Material?

As you see, there are many, many points of differentiation that can set one black dress apart from another. Which makes me realize that this one is VERY different than the 15 I already own. I don't have a knee-length black dress with long sleeves, a tie at the waist AND pin-tucking trim at the bust!

But I will soon. $32, + 25% off this weekend.

You Deserve a Break Today

2009-05-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

You know what the best feature of this short dress/long shirt/normal-length tunic is? The flowy-flowy sleeves. Not because they're so pretty - and they are - but because they force you to become the woman of leisure you were meant to be. You can't cook - the sleeves will catch fire. You can't clean - the sleeves will drag through the cleansers. You can't help small children with art projects, you'll smear the masterpiece. You can, however, sit back and watch your latest netflix, with a diet coke in one hand, the remote in the other hand, and a cupcake on a saucer balanced on your knees.

Dogless in NYC

2009-05-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

I am in the market for a used dog. This turns out to be much trickier than one would expect. In order to qualify for a dog, I must answer a barrage of questions, including what I will feed the dog, where the dog will sleep, what type of obedience class I will sign up for, and what vet will vouch for me (but I don't have a dog, so I don't have a vet, so I can't get a dog, because I don't have a vet).

So I decided I neeeeded this dognamed Hippy I discovered online . So very cute and perfect in every way, including her name. But in the time it took me to answer the above questions and get a vet to vouch for me, dogless as I am, my beloved Hippy was adopted out from under me by a family that is no doubt more sure about exactly what food it will serve (organic free range something, cooked exclusively for the pet nightly, while the kids eat Lunchables).

So instead, I will settle for this $10 hippy bracelet. The cleanup will be easier and the application process so much simpler.

Wedding Favor

2009-05-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Amanda had a wedding to go to this past weekend, so of course she was shopping around for just the right dress to wear. And, as the good cousin and co-blogger that I am, I sympathetically began shopping for a dress for me to wear. To the wedding. To which I was not invited. That has now already occurred.
So far I've landed on this ABS dress, $60 from $229. And he best thing about a wedding that already happened, to which you weren't invited, is that you can keep buying dresses for it. And I will. Family means that much to me.

Stripe a Bargain

2009-05-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't really bought into the whole stripes look we are supposed to be embracing. I think it's a combination of its being too '80's-reliving, too hip- and bust-enhancing, and too headache-inducing. But, yet, I love this dress ($20 from $130). It's very now, very Lilo, but with enough length that you don't have to worry that you'll end up on TMZ for giving the world a peek at your lady bits (I don't know about you, but this is a constant concern of mine).

Rack 'em Up

2009-05-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

Amanda turned me on to this awesome shoe rack that holds 36 pair. Who has 36 pair of shoes? Not me. Not yet. But, if nothing else, I am a goal-setter. I define an objective, set a deadline, develop some milestones and checkpoints along the way, ramp up my steep learning curve, and hit the ground running. What? Do you not speak consulting-ese?

Let me put it more simply. Buy these sandals for $42.50.

That Seventies Bikini

2009-05-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't heed me when I urged your purchase of that seventies shirt, the shirt that replicated the groovy decor of my cousins' Brooklyn bedroom, and have been beating yourself up about it every day since (with the occasional day of to celebrate a holiday or mark the new tv season), here is your chance to purchase that seventies bikini. Only $15 each piece! (Don't you hate when you see a two-piece that you like at a completely reasonable price, only to realize that that is the price for the top alone? I knew you did.)

Golden Opportunity

2009-05-01T09:15:00.001-07:00

You don't need any more sandals, not even a little bit. But you probably don't have any in gold, so you still might buy these at $20. So nice with a long, breezy skirt, when summer comes back for good.

All in the Family

2009-04-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

Amanda has this blouse, my sister has this blouse, and I will soon have this blouse. So, given its popularity, it seemed logical to share the blouse with you, the public at large. In Amanda's case, the blouse came her way as the spoils of photo shoot. (I want a job where you get pretty blouses for free. I get things like books on disruptive innovation or conflict resolution tool kits.) My sister, a fishmonger (not really, but it's a profession that doesn't get enough press and is fun to say), had to purchase it for herself and, as it turns out, for me as a birthday present.

Look at the cute gimmick, I mean detail, on the sleeves:

I think this top looks absolutely adorable paired with the walking shorts in the first picture, but I know that if I wore those to my office, it would not be the win-win-win situation - more like a "go home and change, young lady" situation. Disruption has its time and its place, apparently.

The Big Cover-Up

2009-04-20T16:15:00.000-07:00

This is a life of confusion. Dresses are shirts. Shirts are dresses. Pantyhose are pants. (Well, that last statement may apply only to Lady Gaga, a very talented young woman who is not in any way desperate for all the attention she can direct to herself via her barenaked bottom.) So why can't a cover-up be a tunic, 'tunic' being the word you use for something that may be a shirt or may be a dress, but you're not really sure, and you're not shopping at Forever 21, where they thoughtfully identify the clothing category for you on the hang tag?

Sunny Daze

2009-04-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally, finally! Warm, warm, warm! I'm nearly giddy with excitment. Quick, we must show the gods our appreciation for this lovely sunshine. Do so by buying these $40 sandals - quick while the $10 coupon is still good!

Ruffles and Snuffles

2009-04-14T17:30:00.001-07:00

I don't know about where you work, but where I work the temperature ranges from icy to frigid, even when outside it ranges from icy to sauna. And, all that unnecessarily cold air makes me sniffly. This is where layering comes into play. I love this $10 lightly ruffled cardigan over an Amanda-type dress and or with a pencil skirt and lacy tank. Under a big giant down stadium coat. It is too a look.

Tote-ally Summer

2009-04-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

I am continuing to will summer into being. As part of that exercise, I will purchase this white tote. It's what I expect someone would wear when they grab the jitney out to the Hamptons - an experience I never had, because I never felt the burning need to spend thousands of dollars to fight with 16 other half-shares over whose job it was to bring the toilet paper. Still, if you were the one resonsible for bringing the tp, this would be the tote for the job.

Bearded Lady

2009-04-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so maybe this isn't the usual sort of item we post here on Luckier. But it's on sale for $25. And I'm pretty sure I need one.

Cami Triple Whammy

2009-04-02T19:07:00.001-07:00

Summer's coming, and you're going to need more camis. Of course, if winter was coming, I would tell you the same thing, because they're great for layering purposes. So buy a lot. Especially since you can get 3 for $10.